Missing by minutes
by mama rocks
Summary: Ianto gets pulled into a 'time whirl' and witnesses scenes from his past, present and future. Can the team bring him home. Set just after 'To the Last Man' future scenes not compliant with COE because who wants to read that!
1. Chapter 1

_Italics denotes a past or future time._

Ordinary type denotes present time.

TWTWTW

Everyone was at their workstations busy and quiet. There had been no rift activity for two days but the previous week had been madness and they were all grateful for the rest.

Owen was in the med lab collating his analyses from various alien autopsies looking for similarities. Toshiko was spending time helping him. This wasn't strictly necessary, Owen could complete the information alone, but they were both enjoying spending time together and Jack was not one to begrudge such indulgencies.

Gwen was out of the hub at present catching up with Andy, her one time police colleague. He knew more about Torchwood than most police officers, but out of loyalty to Gwen rarely asked for more information than he was given. He was a good contact to have and Jack had asked her to keep up the relationship.

Ianto was making coffee and Jack was standing watching him, he was bored and restless. He walked up behind Ianto and placed his head on Ianto's shoulder.

'Can I watch you make my coffee?' he pleaded like a petulant toddler.

'Yes, but I can't make it with your head on my shoulder' said Ianto in exasperation.

He almost hoped for rift activity on days like this as a bored Jack could be very dangerous. At best he would make them all undertake some dreadful team building exercise, at worst he would demand sex and would not much care who heard or saw them.

Fortunately for all the team he took neither option that day. He twined his hands about Ianto's waist and nuzzled his neck and asked him to come to his office and talk.

'Do you mean talk Harkness, or is that a euphemism for something sexual and degrading?' laughed Ianto.

'I want to talk Ianto' Jack pouted, 'I want you to tell me something about you that I don't already know.'

Ianto looked around at him in surprise Jack didn't often like to spend time on introspection, this would make a nice change.

'Ok, give me two minutes to take drinks to the others and I'll join you' he replied wondering what secret he was willing to give up to Jack's boredom.

Ianto did not realise then that those two minutes would be the longest he had ever experienced.

He took drinks to the med lab for Toshiko and Owen, stopping to smile at their obvious closeness before he placed their drinks down and left them to their work.

As he travelled back to the main hub he spotted a blurred area at the bottom of the steps to Jack's office. He stood and contemplated. It looked as if part of the fabric of reality was fuzzy, like poor transmission on a television.

Ianto really should have known better. He should have alerted the others and not walked towards the phenomenon, but he wasn't even sure it existed, maybe it was just a trick of his own vision. He needed to mount the steps to join Jack and so went to investigate.

Ianto was drawn immediately into a whirl of mist and feeling suddenly dizzy he sat on the steps and watched the world around him dissolve. He stood and tried to get his bearings but he was no longer in the hub. Or rather he was in the hub but everything and everyone around him had disappeared.

He found himself face to face with an unknown man, obviously an image as Ianto's hand went straight through him when he reached out.

'Ianto Jones I am the Doctor' said the man.

Ianto looked at him askance, this was the very man of whom he had been jealous for so long. Jack's Doctor.

'What's happening?' he asked.

'You are in a time whirl Ianto...it's a time/space distortion thingy..oh you probably won't understand...but I'm trying to get you out' answered the Doctor.

'Ok...is it harmful?...do you think you will be able to get me out?..is there anything I can do to help?...will the others be affected?' demanded Ianto.

The Doctor looked at him with a little more respect.

'It won't affect anyone else I've managed to contain it..you can't help..I am brilliant so I should be able to get you out...it's not exactly harmful but you could be stuck for ever' said the Doctor answering Ianto's questions in reverse order.

'A time whirl will keep you enclosed within your own timeline...you will revisit moments of the past and ones from the future...but only from your own lifetime and only in this environment...so don't be worried if you start to witness...well yourself' continued the Doctor.

'Ok' answered Ianto 'tell Jack I'm ok...will you be able to do that?' he asked worriedly.

The Doctor just looked at him for a moment.

'I tell you that you could be stuck here witnessing your own life forever and you want me to stop trying to help long enough to go and tell Jack you're ok?' he asked in disbelief.

Ianto shrugged.

'He'll be worried' he explained.

The Doctor gave him a big goofish grin.

'Rightio then...next time you see me will hopefully be when the Tardis materialises around you to pull you out'

The Doctor's image faded and then re-focussed sharply.

'Try not to look too hard at anything you see from the future' he warned and faded permanently.

Ianto could not look at anything at the moment, mist was swirling all around him and nothing was in focus, he could just make out blurred images of what he assumed to be people moving about. He panicked slightly now that the Doctor was gone, suddenly taking in the reality of his predicament and feeling very alone.

But then the mist cleared and he found himself fascinated by the scene before him.

This is my first day thought Ianto. When Jack was desperate to see a reaction from me to the hub and I was equally determined not to give him the satisfaction. Ianto was fascinated watching his former self, all stiff upper lip, suit and secrets.

He felt himself crumple a little. He wanted to reach out and tell himself not to do it. To trust Jack, to tell him about Lisa and not put himself through months of torture and nearly get them all killed.

'Hey' he shouted before he had time to think clearly.

'Hey...er ...Ianto' he tried again.

No reaction, nothing at all, from himself or Jack or, oh God there was Suzie grinning and greeting him. It would seem they couldn't hear him, he supposed that was to be expected in this time whirl thing.

Probably not a good idea to try and interact with his past anyway.

_TWTWTW_

_He watched himself and Jack walk into the hub through the main door. Jack walked in first and stopped to turn around and watch Ianto's reaction._

'_Ianto this is Suzie and Toshiko and Owen...Owen's the doc around here so he'll need to check you out at some time today' said Jack._

'_Alright' nodded Owen 'when Jack's finished showing you around just come down to the med lab and I'll run a few tests...make sure you're ok ...take a few blood samples and so on' he continued._

_Ianto looked slightly alarmed, he hated being looked at and touched and really didn't want to be prodded by anyone, even a qualified doctor._

'_It's just routine Ianto' assured Jack and Ianto immediately relaxed his face into his professional mask._

'_Of course sir' he replied._

_Jack looked at him a little concerned but then shook himself and led Ianto off to the archives._

_Suzie wandered over to Toshiko's workstation._

'_So what do you think?' she asked._

_Toshiko did not take her eyes from the screen where she was running what looked like a translation programme._

'_I think I may be close to a breakthrough. I just have to collate these findings with the ones from yesterday' said Toshiko obviously distracted by her concentration on the monitor._

_Suzie laughed at her._

'_I meant about the new bloke. What did you think about him?' she smiled._

'_Oh...yes...seems nice' answered Toshiko still wrapped up in her work._

_Suzie rolled her eyes at Owen as he came to join them._

'_Well we all know why Jack hired him' he announced._

_Toshiko looked up at him._

'_Do we?' she asked ingenuously._

_Owen smirked at her._

'_Well he looks good in a suit...he's calling Jack sir...and he has a certain naive charm...yes I think we all know why Jack hired him'_

_Suzie joined him in laughing._

'_So...I reckon two days...any takers?' Owen finished._

_Toshiko looked at him in puzzlement._

'_Oh I think he's straight...it will take Jack a bit longer than that to get him into bed...I'll take two weeks' laughed Suzie._

_Toshiko looked slightly shocked._

'_You are seriously taking bets on how long it will take Jack to bed the new guy?' she asked incredulously 'do you really think that's why he hired him...I mean we do need office support' _

_Toshiko looked concerned as she began to realise the possibility that her boss had hired Ianto for just such nefarious reasons._

_Owen and Suzie both looked at her with despair and contempt on their faces._

'_Ok' announced Toshiko 'new guy looks like he has morals...I'm thinking three months and only then on Ianto's terms'_

Ianto laughed. Even from the brief glimpse Toshiko had seen of him that first morning she had read him better than either of the other two. It had been just over three months before Jack had got anywhere near Ianto and even then it had been kissing and a few surreptitious gropes and they had definitely been on Ianto's terms.

He watched them talk about him for a few more minutes. It was strange hearing other people's opinions of himself and he wondered if they still thought of him in the same way now. Suzie was no longer with them and Toshiko and Owen knew he and Jack were together, so presumably they thought a little differently. He certainly hoped they did.

The mist swirled and the scene before him faded. Ianto struggled to contain his shock as people he did not know entered the hub. He looked around slightly panicked for somebody he recognised to confront the intruders.

He watched as Jack came out of his office and greeted the three comfortably. Ianto tried to control his breathing, this was obviously a scene from the future. But then his heart beat faster again as he tried to think about where that meant Tosh, Gwen and Owen were.

He sat abruptly in shock as he saw himself follow Jack out of the office. A much older version of himself, about twenty years older he realised. A brief feeling of relief and pleasure that he had made it to his forties followed, not many Torchwood operatives managed that.

'_Stuart what did the readings show?' asked Jack leaning over the railings outside his office._

'_Looks to be inanimate and harmless...Lucy and Michael are taking it straight to the archives...save a second trip' answered Stuart._

'_Ok we'll meet them there' he grabbed Ianto's hand and they set off down to the lower levels._

_Jack pushed Ianto against the wall and kissed him thoroughly. Ianto's hands came up around the captain's waist and pulled him closer._

'_What is it with you and the archive corridors?' panted Ianto._

'_Always remind me of times gone past...previous encounters...you and me' whispered Jack._

'_Well I'm not as young as I was and the corridor floor holds little appeal' said Ianto._

_Jack pouted and Ianto laughed at him._

'_Come on sir...I promise to make it up to you later...in our very soft bed' Ianto whispered huskily._

_As they made to continue their journey Ianto stopped briefly as if remembering something. He turned around and seemed to stare directly at the spot where today's Ianto was standing. _

'_Ianto?' queried Jack 'you ok?'_

'_Yeah' said Ianto softly 'just remembering something...it's all going to be ok' and he turned and continued his journey._

'_Lucy...Michael...don't let us disturb you' snarked Jack as they found the two locked in an embrace._

_They fell apart and looked apologetic._

'_Ignore him...he's just as bad...attacked me in the corridor just now and he's old enough to know better' laughed Ianto looking at the guilt on the faces of his two teammates._

'_Lucy showed me the CCTV footage from your office last night...I know you have no right to complain about us getting intimate in the work place' laughed Michael._

'_For God's sake Jack...when will you learn to delete footage before we go to bed?' sniped Ianto snarling at the other man._

'_When will you learn not to trust me when I tell you it's done?' returned Jack with a small shrug._

_Ianto looked at Lucy harshly._

'_And when will we both learn not to employ nosy techies with a penchant for voyeurism' he asked giving up the argument._

'_Sorry' laughed Lucy apologetically 'for the record it was damn hot' she grinned._

'_Enough!' shouted Jack let's do some work shall we?'_

Ianto gasped. He was almost sure his other self had been talking to him in the corridor when he said everything would be alright. If this was his future self then maybe he had been remembering.

Ianto returned his attention to the fact that Jack still cared for him and the reference to 'our' bed held all sorts of possibilities that Ianto could not begin to believe in.

He and Jack were obviously still close enough after all these years for Jack to hold his hand, kiss and talk about sexual activity. These teammates knew about him and Jack, they were joking about them. He looked again at his future self. He definitely looked to be mid forties and yet he and Jack still seemed to have a relationship. This was just unreal.

He leant against the wall and breathed deeply. Please God let Toshiko and Owen be married and happy somewhere out there. Let Gwen be a mother of several children with better things to do than save the world. He knew both these scenarios were highly unlikely and he had to hold back sobs. He was obviously still alive, still happy, still involved with Jack and he refused to believe his friends were not as lucky.

The Doctor had told him to try not to look at the future, not to be affected by what he did see. That was impossible. He felt great joy at seeing himself with Jack, and enormous fear that his friends had been replaced. Seeing his past was hard, wanting to warn himself, but this was worse, knowing and yet not knowing. Please Doctor, get me out of here he thought.

Mist enveloped him and then cleared once more, Ianto found himself back in the main hub. He quickly realised that whilst he could move within the hub, following himself or others, he didn't have a choice where he would go when the time line changed.

His first feeling was one of relief as he took in the sight of Toshiko, Gwen and Owen. He smiled to himself as he realised he had never before been grateful for a sight of Owen. He and Owen had become closer whilst Jack was away but the medic still tended to snipe at Ianto more than the others, merely because Ianto's controlled nature meant that he would tolerate more.

He turned to watch himself making coffee, he would never be able to comprehend how weird it was to watch oneself. He had seen images of them all on CCTV but watching in so called real life was entirely different, if he wasn't so freaked out by it he might almost enjoy it, as if he were spying on things he should never have been privy too.

Maybe this was a little too close to the problem Toshiko had with the pendant Mary had given her. No this was different, he couldn't hear thoughts, could only witness what had actually happened even if he didn't see it at the time, or hadn't lived it yet.

Ianto shook himself, it really would be better for his sanity if he didn't think too hard about all this. He watched the scene unfold before him. This is from just last week he realised.

_Ianto took Toshiko her tea and stayed to talk a few moments. Tosh had been quiet since Tommy had left and he was trying to offer some sympathy whilst not opening a sore subject. She appreciated his gesture and they chatted briefly about the programme she was working on._

_Ianto moved on and handed a hot chocolate to Gwen._

'_Cor just what I needed Ianto..thanks' preened Gwen luxuriating in the rich liquid._

'_Oi...some of us may not be female..or captain shaggable..but we still need coffee' shouted Owen from his monitor._

_Ianto rolled his eyes. Owen was in a bad mood, probably through a lack of rift activity, probably because he hadn't been laid in a week, or probably just because he was Owen. Whatever the problem was Ianto knew he would come in for most stick from the moody medic and hurried to provide him with caffeine stimulation._

_Jack leant on the railings outside his office watching his team and Ianto in particular, dreaming lazily of their antics the night before. Lack of rift activity meant time and energy for other more satisfying pursuits._

_He grinned when he heard Owen's name for him._

'_Somebody not getting any Owen?' he laughed._

'_I do alright mate don't you worry' muttered Owen._

_The girls giggled, Jack had obviously hit a sore spot. Ianto sat at his own monitor and continued working, at least whilst Jack and Owen were sparring the medic was not sniping at him._

'_Really?' questioned Jack and something spurred him to dig at Owen._

'_Let's see who has gone the longest...Gwen when did you last get down and dirty?' he laughed._

_Gwen laughed outright._

'_Who the hell says down and dirty Harkness...and two days ago...you Toshiko?' she replied._

'_Four nights ago' said Toshiko dreamily thinking of Tommy, it hurt to remember but digging at Owen in this way gave her a small sense of triumph that she didn't really want to investigate._

'_What about you Jack?' she finished._

'_Two hours ago' smirked Jack._

'_What?!...we were all right here!' shouted Gwen whilst Toshiko grinned at his statement._

_Ianto had stiffened when Jack had made his announcement, he really didn't like sharing this stuff with the others especially Owen._

'_Oh God Harkness you really are disgusting' said Owen._

_Jack had noticed Ianto's posture and was quickly realising that confession hadn't been wise. He and Ianto were still getting back on track after his disappearance and making light of their relationship was probably not a good idea._

'_Well making coffee and being the captain's toy...I suppose this explains the teaboys stilted walk' sniped Owen._

_Jack registered the mortified look on Ianto's face and tried to make amends._

'_Owen!' he shouted 'Ianto is not the teaboy...he is __**my**__ boy..and tea rarely comes into it'_

_Ianto stood and walked away into Jack's office and shut the door behind him._

'_Oh God...that did not come out the way I intended' sighed Jack whilst the girls smirked and Owen just gaped open mouthed._

_Jack quickly disappeared to placate Ianto in his office. He shut the door to be confronted by Ianto's back facing him as the young man stood at Jack's desk his shoulders shaking slightly. This is worse than I thought ran through Jack's mind._

'_Christ Ianto..don't cry...it's not that bad...they all know we're together..does it really matter that I make a joke occasionally' he tried._

_Ianto turned to face him and Jack let out a huge sigh of relief. Ianto was laughing and trying desperately to hold the sound inside causing his shoulders to heave._

'_Did you see the look on Owen's face when you said that?...priceless!' he giggled._

'_You're not mad' gasped Jack._

'_No Jack...and I'm not enough of a girl to cry over it if I were...but the others expect me to maintain a respectable front...it wouldn't be as much fun for them if I didn't..especially for Owen..I couldn't let them see me laugh' he said wiping his eyes._

'_However you are never to call me your boy again' he continued, but then he cocked his head to one side 'in front of them' he amended._

_Jack sidled over to him and curled his arms about his waist._

'_So I can call you my boy in private?' he asked huskily._

_Ianto appeared to think about this for a moment._

'_On one condition' he said._

'_Ok' agreed Jack._

'_You get to be __**my **__boy tonight' purred Ianto._

_Jack's passion fuelled kiss was all the agreement he needed._

'_And just think of the fun we can have messing with Owen...you can make him muck out the Weevils for a week on the pretext that he made you upset me' added Ianto with a wicked gleam in his eye._

'_Ianto Jones you are evil' laughed Jack._

_Outside the office their teammates were left wondering what was being said._

'_Did he just seriously call Ianto his boy?' asked Owen bemused by the whole thing._

'_I believe he did' Toshiko replied smiling._

'_I thought they were just shagging...but this is getting creepy' sniffed Owen._

'_I think it's sweet' announced Toshiko._

_Gwen grinned and Owen just looked at the two of them in bewilderment._

Ianto smiled to himself as he remembered the scene. Jack had indeed been his boy that night. Some memories were good to relive. But not all Ianto's memories of times in the hub were as pleasant and he really hoped the Doctor would save him before the truly unpleasant ones were shown to him.

The mist enveloped him once more.

TWTWTW

Back at the hub Jack looked out of his office window wondering what was keeping Ianto. He went to the door and shouted.

'Ianto!...Iantooo!'

The other team members looked around at him.

'He was here a minute ago' said Toshiko.

Jack felt his stomach sink.

'Tosh check internal CCTV something has happened' the Japanese woman nodded .

'Ianto' Jack tried again over the internal comms.

'Jack! Oh my God Jack! Look!' shouted Toshiko pointing to her monitor.

Jack raced to her side and was quickly joined by Gwen and Owen. They watched as Ianto walked towards the stairs of Jack's office and then just disappeared. Toshiko replayed the image again and pointed to the slight fuzziness that swirled around Ianto immediately before his disappearance.

'What's that?' she asked.

'Don't know Tosh..but I want us all working on it until we find out...I want to know where Ianto is...and I want him back' announced Jack.

They all nodded and began running investigations.

'Oh God...we have to find him' muttered Jack to himself before taking a deep breath and joining in with the research.

Jack returned to his office to work as his constant pacing was beginning to affect the ability of the others to concentrate. He looked out of his window watching them help each other but then turned quickly at the sound of a familiar voice. He confronted an image of the Doctor.

'What!?' spluttered Jack.

'Yes yes...surprised to see me...what am I doing etc etc...really no time Jack...Ianto is ok...he wanted me to tell you..said you would be worried...he's in a time whirl and I'm working on getting him out'

The Doctor stopped speaking long enough to judge if Jack was taking in what he was telling him. He grinned.

'Rightio then...I'll get on with it' he said and his image began to fade.

'Doctor! Wait!' shouted Jack.

The image refocused.

'Yes?' questioned the Doctor.

'Make sure you get him...and tell him we miss him...I miss him' said Jack stunned by the sudden appearance of the other man and relieved to some extent that he was working on Ianto's disappearance.

'Blimey you lot have no sense of urgency..always wanting to send messages...I am a little busy you know...being brilliant and all that' he said aggrievedly.

Jack smiled and waved him away.

'Go...be brilliant...bring back Ianto' he said.

'OOhh that sounds good...we should start a campaign...bring back Ianto' trailed off the Doctor as his image faded again.

Jack took a deep breath. If the Doctor was helping then Ianto stood a good chance of being returned intact, but this was not going to stop Jack worrying and fretting until he had his Welshman in his arms again.

He strode to the door and prepared to update the team and tell them not to stop their work.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto is still lost.

TWTWTW

The team were all tired but Jack had insisted no one went home until Ianto was back. He had suggested they all snatch some sleep on the sofa in shifts and had himself ordered take out and been to the bakery for coffee and cakes.

Nobody complained, they all wanted Ianto back and would have been reluctant to go home even if Jack had allowed it.

'Tosh?' enquired Jack asking about possible new developments.

His hopes were instantly dashed by the look of apology on Toshiko's face.

'Sorry Jack...I'm getting readings which suggest tiny rips in the fabric of time but they are haphazard, I can't find a pattern and they are too fast to get a fix' she said.

Jack's face fell and he turned away in despair.

'But..' she continued and Jack whipped his head around to look at her again.

'There is a second signature following directly behind and occasionally in front of the first...I'm guessing the Doctor is tracking Ianto and the second rips in time are him'

Jack grinned, it would seem that the Doctor was closer than they were.

'Keep searching Tosh...I refuse to allow Ianto to remain as a blip in time' he said and returned to his own research.

TWTWTW

The mist swirled again and Ianto saw himself in the basement room kneeling on the floor amid the mingled blood of Lisa and the pizza delivery girl. He watched his teammates look away from his despair and the carnage that had been created. Oh God, not this, don't show me this he pleaded.

_He didn't remember being guided away from the scene downstairs and didn't know how long he had been sitting on the sofa in the main area of the hub. Some part of him knew the others were clearing up in the basement, clearing away all evidence of the woman he had loved and the killing machine she had become._

_He was not thinking, he was unaware of the passage of time, the shock had turned off his ability to think coherently. He became aware of Jack standing in front of him and apparently trying to talk to him. Ianto tried to focus on Jack but his mind would not concentrate long enough to understand what he was saying._

_Jack knelt on the floor before him and he locked eyes with the captain, trying once more to focus his mind._

'_The others have left Ianto...Lisa is in the morgue...will you come and say goodbye?' Jack was asking him gently._

_Ianto automatically responded to what he assumed to be an order and he stood up. He wobbled and Jack caught hold of him. For a brief moment Ianto was glad of the support and comfort of Jack's arms, but suddenly a rush of emotions informed him that this man was the murderer of the woman he had loved and struggled so long to keep alive._

_Ianto's breath began to come in short harsh sobs._

'_Monster!' he spat at Jack pushing him away._

'_Ianto!' warned Jack._

_Jack might feel sympathy for the boy who had lost so much but he was not prepared to endure abuse from the man who had put his whole team in danger and had lied so effectively for months._

_Ianto stood rigidly, the full force of his anger and grief directed at the man before him._

'_You could have saved her' he shouted._

'_No Ianto...you know that's not true...the woman you loved was dead long before we shot her' Jack insisted._

_Ianto lost what little control he still had and sprang at Jack punching him hard enough to split his lip. Jack barely managed to prevent himself from retaliating. He tried to remember the shock Ianto was suffering and the loss he was yet to fully realise._

_Ianto saw the blood he had drawn from the captain's face and it seemed to fuel his anger further. He leapt at him once more punching him again and again, falling with him to the floor in a tangle of limbs._

'_Ianto!...please...stop!' gasped Jack trying to still the other man's arms as he continued to land punches all over his body._

_Jack allowed the punishment because he recognised that Ianto needed to do it, needed to take his frustration and grief out on the man he was currently holding responsible for both emotions. Jack admitted to himself that he felt he deserved it to some extent. After all Ianto was right, none of them had taken any notice of him. In his teammates that was bad but in his boss it was deplorable. He deserved the hurt Ianto was inflicting, because he hadn't noticed the hurt he was suffering._

_He rolled Ianto over, effectively pinning him to the ground with his body._

'_Ianto...enough!' he gasped._

_But Ianto was out of control, sobbing and fighting to get free of Jack's grip. He suddenly stopped and looked up into the captain's face mere centimetres from his own and felt a flare of something akin to, but different from anger. It stilled him momentarily._

_Jack loosened his grip thinking Ianto was calming and Ianto recognised the moment, using it to flip them so that he was once again on top._

_From this position of aggression he attacked the captain's mouth with his own kissing him fiercely, aiming to hurt rather than inflame desire._

_For a split second Jack was shocked, but then he was kissing back with abandon. They were transported back to the night in the warehouse and all the desire for each other that had been systematically repressed since then was unleashed in that one small act._

_It mingled with Ianto's anger and Jack's guilt and crescendoed into an act of lust._

_Ianto ground his erection into Jack's and growled into the kiss. He stopped trying to hit the captain and pinned the other man's arms to his sides by a death like grip on his wrists. He broke the kiss and began biting at Jack's neck as he thrust into his groin._

_He took his hands briefly away from Jack's wrists and ripped the front of his shirt giving him better access to the captain's neck._

_Ianto's lust was overtaking his anger and his thrusting became erratic as his climax built. The anger was now manifest only in the biting which was bordering on vicious, covering Jack's face, neck and shoulders._

_Ianto gave two last erratic, uncontrolled thrusts into Jack's groin and came in his trousers whilst biting the other man's shoulder hard enough to break the skin._

_The anger, frustration and lust left Ianto along with his semen and he collapsed sobbing on top of Jack quietly muttering over and over again._

'_I'm sorry...I'm sorry'_

_Jack merely held him until the sobbing quieted. Held him gently and caressed his hair whispering nonsense about everything being alright now._

_When Ianto eventually calmed he did not fight the comfort of Jack's arms but lay still for a while gathering his thoughts. He lifted his head and looked at the man beneath him wondering what his next move would be. Ianto noticed the large unmistakable bite on his neck and drew in a sharp breath in sympathy. He reached down and kissed it gently in apology._

'_Oh God...I didn't think my life could get any more screwed up...and here I am proving myself most spectacularly wrong by trying to rape my boss' he murmured into Jack's neck._

_Jack lifted his chin and looked him in the eyes._

'_It was hardly that Ianto' he smiled softly 'you're in emotional shock...sometimes the body finds a way to deal with what your mind can no longer process...it finds a physical release because a mental one would be too painful' he explained gently._

'_I'm sorry' whispered Ianto again._

'_So am I' answered Jack and Ianto looked at him in surprise._

_They sat up together and Ianto looked down in dismay at his stained and wet trousers, evidence of his lust._

'_It's ok Ianto' whispered Jack recognising the moment of insecurity and embarrassment._

_He gave a final stroke to the younger man's hair and asked._

'_Would you like to go and say goodbye now?'_

_Ianto nodded and the two men walked to the morgue together, Ianto allowing the older man to pass reassurance to him by the joining of their hands._

_Ianto looked down at Lisa lying in apparent peace in a drawer in the morgue._

'_Where is all the blood?' he asked shocked._

'_I asked Owen to help me to clean her up' said Jack simply._

_They had also removed as much of her metal helmet as possible, making her look as human as she had since Canary Wharf._

'_Thank you' whispered Ianto. _

_Then with a small smile he asked sadly._

'_How did you persuade Owen to help?...I imagined he would never so much as look at me willingly again'_

'_Owen lost someone just before he joined Torchwood...he's not happy with you...but he understands your pain' answered Jack and he put his arms around the younger man and pulled him into a hug._

_Ianto rested his head briefly on Jack's shoulder and then looked up at him. The two men slowly leaned in to kiss each other gently, deepening the kiss slightly when Jack tentatively pressed his tongue against the other man's lips. Ianto met it with his own in the briefest of caresses before they parted. It was a kiss of forgiveness, of renewal, a promise for the future._

Ianto felt the tears gather behind his eyes as he relived the scene of Lisa's death, her final death. He and Jack had gradually grown closer after that night. Ianto had needed someone to talk to when the rest of the team were wary of approaching him. Jack needed to make amends for having missed all the pain the young man had been in.

They had sought comfort and understanding in each other and that had eventually led to more. That night had been a turning point in Ianto's life for more than one reason.

Ianto wiped his eyes as mist encircled him and then cleared and he was suddenly in the much more recent past. Yesterday, thought Ianto.

TWTWTW

'_Arrhh!' screamed Owen._

_He threw the cup that was sitting on his desk across the hub, watching as both Ianto and Gwen ducked to avoid being hit._

'_Owen! What the hell is the matter with you?' demanded Jack from where he stood at Toshiko's monitor studying her analyses of recent rift activity. _

'_Nothing!' sneered Owen._

'_Then why did you throw the cup?' asked Jack in exasperation._

'_It looked at me funny' scowled Owen._

_The other four gazed at him in disbelief. The statement would have been amusing but for the fact that Owen was clearly fuming over some unspoken thing._

'_I'm going to cut something up' snarled Owen and he left the floor for his lab._

_Ianto quietly moved to clear up the broken crockery whilst Toshiko and Jack continued to sift through rift predictions and Gwen muttered about moody medics under her breath._

_Having cleaned up Ianto took a fresh drink down to the med lab and with it a brown paper bag._

_He walked softly over to where Owen was sitting gazing gloomily into space. He took a seat next to his friend, placed the coffee before him and offered the paper bag._

'_Happy birthday Owen' he said gently._

_Owen looked at him and took the bag opening it to find a chocolate cup cake from the bakery on the quay front, they were his favourite. His shoulders slumped as he perceived the confectionary._

'_How do you always know Ianto?' he asked in a subdued tone._

'_You should have realised by now that I know everything Owen' smiled Ianto 'I take it she hasn't been in contact?' he asked._

'_No' confirmed Owen sadly._

_The two men sat together in silence for a long moment. Whilst Jack had been away Owen and Ianto had become closer, drinking together occasionally and taking comfort in the presence of another male when Toshiko and Gwen became too girly. _

_Owen had confided about his almost non- existent relationship with his mother, how he despised her and yet still yearned for her to acknowledge him._

_The lack of birthday greetings from her bothered him, but what bothered him most was how much he was upset by it. He knew he should just let it go, God knows he was old enough to get over it and he had lived with the disappointment long enough._

'_I'm sorry' sympathised Ianto._

'_Yeah' acknowledged Owen._

'_Mine goes to the other extreme' said Ianto 'she wants to know everything...she rings constantly...tells me to put a coat on when I go out...checks to make sure I'm eating properly...wants to know all the details about my love life...' Ianto trailed off._

'_Yeah?' grinned Owen 'does she know about Jack?'_

_Ianto grinned back at him._

'_Finally got up the courage to tell her recently' he admitted._

'_What did she say? Was she shocked that her only son is gay?' asked Owen gleefully, enjoying someone else's discomfort._

'_I'm not gay Owen' insisted Ianto._

'_Yeah? Well I've seen CCTV footage that begs to differ' laughed Owen._

_Ianto looked at him in shock._

'_Bloody Harkness' he muttered under his breath._

_The two men looked at each other and laughed._

'_So what did she say?' continued Owen._

'_She wants to meet Jack' replied Ianto distractedly._

'_Whoa!' said Owen._

'_Exactly' agreed Ianto 'she wants to vet him in the way she has all my previous girlfriends'_

_Owen began to giggle uncontrollably._

'_Harkness meeting the in laws...oh that is good...that's cheered me right up...thanks Ianto'_

_Ianto stood up to leave the med lab._

'_Oh Ianto wait!...what did Jack say when you told him?' asked Owen expecting to hear of Jack's absolute refusal._

'_He asked what he should wear' said Ianto laughing to himself at the look of shock on Owen's face._

_He left the lab listening to the disbelieving snorts of the doctor._

Ianto smiled again as he watched Owen's shocked expression. He had been upset on the medic's behalf that his mother had not contacted him on his birthday. Such a thing would never happen in his family. Much as he found his mother's constant concern suffocating, he could not imagine the hurt he would feel were that concern to be withdrawn.

Another scene emerged.

Ianto looked around, the hub was empty. No...he could hear a sound getting nearer...it was himself singing the lullaby his mother had sung to his sister and himself when they were children. Ianto watched himself arrive on the main floor of the hub with a baby in his arms. The baby could be no more than four or five months old. What was a baby doing in Torchwood? Was he a father? His heart leapt with joy at the very idea.

TWTWTW

_Ianto stopped singing and looked down into Samuel's big brown eyes. _

'_This is the main floor...where we sit all day and look at technology and alien junk whilst drinking coffee' he explained turning the baby around in his arms so that he could take it all in._

_He took him over to the kitchen area._

'_This is uncle Ianto's coffee machine...no one else is allowed to touch it...but when you are a lot older I will show you how to make perfect coffee...then when you upset mum you'll be able to apologise...a good cup of coffee won't make up for all your misdemeanours, but it will get you a long way along the path of forgiveness' he continued._

_The hub alarm sounded and Jack strolled in._

'_Hey...shouldn't you be at the ceremony by now?' he asked walking over and kissing Ianto and the top of the baby's head._

'_No...it's not for another hour...Rhys has had to go and fetch his parents as their car broke down and Gwen is having a panic about the catering...so I'm babysitting until she gets back...I'm introducing Samuel to the delights of the Torchwood hub' smiled Ianto._

_Jack leant his head to one side and sadly considered his lover with the baby in his arms. He held the child so naturally and easily._

'_You could still have all this Ianto' he whispered sadly indicating the baby._

'_No I can't Jack' Ianto returned the whisper._

'_You could' insisted Jack 'Gwen chose to leave for a normal life...you could have that...marriage...babies'_

_Ianto looked at Jack and knew he was wondering if Ianto regretted the lack of normality in his life._

'_Gwen chose to leave...and I chose to stay...my choice is just as valid Jack...and I was just as capable of making it...I could have all the wonders of a normal life...but I would rather have you' he answered._

_Ianto pressed their foreheads together and desperately willed Jack to believe him._

_They broke apart when Samuel pushed a small hand up to their faces and grabbed Jack's nose, laughing when Jack caught hold of his wrist and blew a raspberry on his palm._

'_I get to be Godfather to this little man and I am going to relish that role' laughed Ianto 'I am going to teach him all sorts of stuff his parents won't appreciate...and when I run out of ideas I'm going to bring him to you for more'_

'_Oi! I heard that' Gwen had entered as Ianto had finished speaking._

'_I chose you because I thought you would be a good influence on his life Ianto Jones...I am now beginning to have serious doubts' laughed the Welshwoman taking the baby from Ianto's arms and smiling at him._

'_Everything sorted?' asked Ianto._

'_Yep...but we need to go...get this one changed before we set off for the church...you're still welcome to come Jack' she said._

'_No' said Jack reluctantly 'this is a little bit of normal for you and Ianto...and as you are no longer a Torchwood operative you shouldn't still be able to gain access to the hub' he tutted mock sternly._

'_Well Ianto and I have come to an arrangement...he needs access to Samuel...and I need access to wherever my baby might be' laughed Gwen._

'_Oh...and why wasn't I consulted about this?...I am the boss' said Jack but he smiled as he spoke._

'_Oh Jack' laughed Gwen 'Ianto has been in charge of Torchwood, the hub __**and**__ you for a long time now' and she walked away still chuckling._

_Ianto gazed in amusement at the very cross look on his lover's face._

'_You can be the boss tonight sir' he whispered sexily and winked as he followed Gwen out of the hub._

Gwen's baby. Of course it was Gwen's baby. Ianto felt relief and a certain amount of disappointment. He had always wanted to be a father and until recently had assumed it would happen one day. He and Lisa had talked of having three children and Ianto had revelled in the idea.

Once he had accepted his relationship with Jack he had known he must make a choice. Jack or fatherhood. Jack or marriage. Jack or normality. It hadn't been a difficult choice in the end. Ianto had fallen in love despite his best efforts to fight it and he was always willing to make sacrifices for those he loved.

He suddenly felt very warm at the idea of being Godfather to Gwen's child. She had trusted him to do this, had trusted him to care for her child and be involved in his life. He and Gwen had sometimes had a wary relationship, he knew she liked Jack and she knew Ianto was with him. On occasions this had caused some small frictions between them. Obviously this was no longer an issue. But if Gwen had become a mother and had left Torchwood their friendship had probably become easier.

Ianto felt very pleased that there would be this joy in his life and that Gwen would have the normal life she deserved, that Torchwood would not steal it away from her or Rhys. He had seen a future time when Gwen, Owen and Toshiko were no longer in the hub and at least here was proof that one of them had left voluntarily. He prayed to discover the same was true of the other two.

TWTWTW

Owen entered Jack's office.

'Jack?...you ok mate?' he asked.

'No' replied Jack sadly 'I want him back Owen'

'We all do Jack...and we'll get him back...Tosh showed me how she is monitoring the time rips that she thinks are Ianto and the Doctor...how well do you know him Jack?...is he really helping?' asked Owen nervously, collaborating with aliens did not come easily to the medic.

'If anybody can find Ianto and bring him back it will be him...that's what he does Owen...he saves people...he saved me' said Jack.

Owen nodded but his face remained grim.

'I think you should come out and eat with us...you need to talk to Gwen' said Owen.

'Why?' asked Jack 'has she found something of use?'

'Unfortunately no' replied Owen 'but she is determined to find something related to this phenomenon in the archives...Ianto will not be pleased with the mess she has made when he returns...perhaps you could encourage her to tone down her enthusiasm...or at least to replace files vaguely where she found them...teaboy will have a blue fit' he smiled.

Jack smiled back thinking about Ianto's ire whenever anyone messed with his filing system. He felt an unaccustomed warmth when he realised Owen's unspoken concern for both himself and his missing 'teaboy'.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack sat in his office staring into space and trying not to think about Ianto. It was impossible. The young man was taking up all the team's time and thoughts at the moment and especially Jack's. Jack thought about all the things he and Ianto had come through, the betrayals, the hurt, the comfort and forgiveness. He had to get the young man back, he was not ready to lose him.

Toshiko knocked and entered the office with a cup of coffee for the captain.

'It's not Ianto's but it's made with love' she said as she presented the cup.

'Ahh! Ianto's secret ingredient' smiled Jack.

Toshiko raised her eyebrow at the comment.

'It's what I always think makes Ianto's coffee so special...he makes it with care for the people who will receive it...he wants them to enjoy it...he makes it with love' sighed Jack.

'Oh dear!' thought Toshiko if Jack was becoming so melancholy did that mean he was losing hope?

Jack grimaced suddenly and looked up at her sheepishly.

'I know...that was a bit twee wasn't it?...don't tell the others' he demanded mock fiercely.

Toshiko smiled.

'I promise' she said.

'You should try to get some sleep Jack' she added gently knowing that the captain had not closed his eyes since Ianto went missing nearly thirty six hours ago now.

'I've tried' smiled Jack 'can't get my mind to shut down enough...need my snuggle toy in the bed'

Toshiko laughed.

'Oh that is way too much information Jack...when we get Ianto back I'm going to tell him what you called him and laugh as I watch you get punished' she said.

Jack waggled his eyebrows at her.

'So ...is that a favourite fantasy of yours?...seeing Ianto punish me?' he smirked.

Toshiko giggled some more.

'You are outrageous Mr Harkness' she exclaimed.

'Oh... I see you have been talking to Ianto!' laughed Jack.

They both stopped laughing, thinking of the lost man and just looked at each other for a long moment. Toshiko made to leave the office.

Tosh!' Jack stopped her.

She turned to look at her boss in question.

'Thanks' he whispered, indicating the coffee but meaning so much more.

TWTWTW

Ianto was puzzled. He knew he must have been missing for some time now as he had witnessed so many scenes, he worried about how Jack would be coping with his absence. But he worried more that despite the apparent passage of time he did not feel hungry or thirsty, he was not tired and felt no need for a bathroom. Why was that? It could only mean that his body was stuck in a particular moment of time. Would he never age? Never change? Would he be stuck here endlessly, watching and never altering? After all, the Doctor had said he could be stuck forever and Ianto was just beginning to realise the implications of that.

He looked at his wrist watch...seventeen minutes past ten...the exact moment he had been caught up in this madness. He was... he was stuck in an exact moment of time... the thought terrified him.

He had to believe the team would find him or he would be driven insane. Was this how Jack felt? Never altering and watching the world change around him, people coming and going? At least Jack could interact with his surroundings, Ianto would have nothing if trapped here.

Toshiko and the Doctor were working on his rescue he would trust to their skill and try not to think about forever.

There was little point in brooding about a situation he could not alter. His mother had always told him 'what can't be cured must be endured' and whilst this dictum had annoyed him as a child, he recognised its truth as an adult. He could not interact with his surroundings other than to move through the hub, could not contact his teammates, could not even touch anything. He would just have to endure the waiting.

Ianto was the image of patience and calm in everyday life but it was an image he worked hard to project and did not always find easy.

He sighed as the mist swirled and he prepared to meet yet another version of himself.

TWTWTW

_Ianto took a deep breath and entered Jack's office._

'_Your coffee sir' he said politely, placing the cup on the desk._

_Jack looked up into Ianto's face and grinned widely._

'_Thank you Ianto. Have I told you today how good you look in that suit?' he said._

'_Several times sir' said Ianto tersely._

_Ianto nervously straightened his tie. Being alone with Jack always made him a little nervous. He wasn't sure if it was the older man's continuous flirting or the fact that Ianto could feel himself respond in ways he was not yet prepared to admit._

_Ianto was straight. He kept telling himself that over and over but that didn't stop him dreaming about Jack, and those dreams were not innocent, but they __**were**__ wonderful. Ianto thought it was happening only because Jack flirted with him continually and this led his subconscious mind in directions his conscious mind would never wander._

_The two men had become close since the incident with Lisa. Ianto stayed behind and helped Jack with the paperwork he hated and in return Jack was company for Ianto and kept him from thinking too much and brooding on his mistakes._

_Jack had always flirted and Ianto knew he was attracted to the man. But he wasn't sure if Jack was actually attracted to him or if he was just being Jack. The uncertainty was more unnerving than the flirting. Ianto did not want to respond and then be made a fool of. A part of him wondered if this was Jack punishing him for Lisa, flirting with him so that he could ultimately reject him. He didn't think the older man would be so cruel but he couldn't help the small part of him that doubted._

_Jack stood and came around his desk and took one of Ianto's hands. He came ever closer to the young man until their bodies were flush together and their lips millimetres apart. _

'_You are beautiful Ianto Jones' whispered Jack and Ianto could feel his breath on his lips._

_For a moment Ianto was stunned and the two men remained motionless. Suddenly Ianto backed away from his boss as if realising the situation. With a foot of space between them Ianto hissed._

'_Do you really want me or are you just doing this to pass the time and freak me out?'_

_Jack was a little taken aback at the tone. The space between the two men was still narrow but Ianto's eyes were flashing fire and Jack was wary of his reaction. Ianto had never really responded either way to his flirting, he hadn't encouraged it but neither had he given any sign that it upset him._

_Jack wasn't sure where this sudden reaction had come from but it had certainly never been his intention to upset Ianto. He liked the young man very much, not just the way he looked but the man himself. He had hoped eventually that Ianto would respond to him and they could investigate a new level in their relationship. The incident after Lisa's death had seemed to suggest this was an eventual possibility. Perhaps it was just too soon for Ianto._

_Jack put out a hand and clasped one of Ianto's._

'_I really want you' he whispered earnestly._

_Ianto looked at him, looked down, looked around the room and then back at Jack nervously._

'_Is that ok Ianto?' asked Jack equally nervously._

_Ianto shifted his gaze again, but then looked Jack directly in the eyes and replied._

'_It's ok'_

_Jack smiled at him and closed the small distance between them until he could hug the younger man to him._

'_I don't want you to be upset by me...so it's your move ok?' he whispered._

_Ianto nodded and moved out of the embrace and out of the office, not looking behind him and so missing the wistful gaze on Jack's face._

Ianto remembered the days and weeks after Lisa's death when the both of them had skirted around the issue of their attraction. Ianto confused about his feelings and fearing rejection, Jack desperate not to push and risk losing the very thing he had wanted for so long.

Ianto sighed. Even now he and Jack were not brilliant at talking to each other. They skirted the emotional issues and plunged into the physical ones. They needed to talk more when he got back...if he got back.

TWTWTW

When the mist cleared Ianto found himself at the top of the med lab stairs looking down on an injured Toshiko.

_Toshiko plunged the needle into her leg and waited briefly for the pain medication to begin its work then returned to talking to Owen and trying to get him safely out of the nuclear power plant._

Ianto couldn't make sense of what was happening, he could only see that Toshiko his beautiful friend was hurt.

He watched as Jack and Gwen arrived and comforted Toshiko in her dying moments. He even saw himself watching from above, unable to move to comfort his friend as the emotions became too much.

Oh God Tosh no! He thought as he watched her close her eyes for the final time. In his mind he screamed...that's enough....get me out of here Doctor...I want to go home, and a sob caught in his throat.

TWTWTW

Ianto had closed his eyes and turned away from the horror and was immensely relieved when mist swirled and the scene changed. His breathing became calmer as the tableau itself was calm.

Ianto watched the picture before him a little puzzled, nothing seemed to be happening. He and Jack were alone in the hub and they looked pretty much as they do now, Ianto concluded this must be from the fairly near future.

_Ianto sat next to Jack on the battered hub sofa. Neither man was talking they were both engrossed in reports. Ianto made small notes in the margin of his report occasionally and Jack hummphed every now and then at something he had read. _

_The two men reached for their drinks together and took sips, replacing the cups on the table before them with apparent synchronicity, almost as if the move had been choreographed. They were obviously comfortable in each other's company to the extent that words were not necessary._

_Ianto finished his report and set it down on his lap and stared in front of him waiting for Jack to complete his task. When he did they swapped paperwork without speaking and quickly checked each other's work._

_This done they stood and took the reports to the office and Ianto filed them in the cabinet. They then stopped and for the first time looked at each other and smiled._

_Jack put out his hand and Ianto took it and Jack pressed buttons on his wrist strap. Music quietly filled the office and Jack pulled Ianto into his arms, the two of them swaying to the sound, holding each other gently, closing eyes and resting their cheeks together. As the music stopped they kissed softly and smiled at each other then made their way to the underground room._

Ianto smiled to himself. He had witnessed nothing and yet it made him feel warm to observe it. He and Jack were so used to each other that they no longer needed words, they fitted together, knew what each other would do and think. They were in a solid relationship and it was beautiful to watch.

TWTWTW

The scene changed again. Ianto watched as once more people he did not recognise emerged into the hub. He saw himself and Jack in his office and unfamiliar faces at the monitors on the main floor.

'_Deeta where is that information you promised?'_

'_For God's sake Hugo I sent it to your monitor ten minutes ago you just need to access it at your end' sniped Deeta._

_Hugo raised his eyes at the woman and gave her a small sheepish grin and opened the file he had requested._

_The door to Jack's office opened and Ianto emerged._

'_I said no Jack' he huffed._

_Deeta and Hugo looked at each other and rolled their eyes, surely this argument could not last much longer, they had been at it for days. Ianto and Jack did not really argue as such, Jack whined and pleaded and Ianto became progressively more stiff. He would ultimately start serving decaff if he did not get his way._

_Jack wanted a hot tub installed in their garden in the house they shared and Ianto disagreed. Ianto knew the hot tub would lead to sex outdoors and the neighbours really would not like that. _

'_Give it up Ianto...you know he'll only go ahead and install it anyway' muttered Deeta._

'_He most certainly will not' snapped Ianto 'and since when did you know what Jack and I are discussing in private?' he demanded._

'_It's hardly been private Ianto...you've been arguing about this for a week...and I don't know about you but I don't think I can take much more of his whining' sighed Hugo indicating Jack's direction._

_Jack grinned at them from the door of his office._

'_See they think you should let me have a hot tub' he laughed down at Ianto._

_The hub alarm sounded and Laura entered._

'_Oh God...not still the hot tub...please' she said._

'_So everybody knows...' huffed Ianto._

'_Yes!' a chorus rang out._

_Laura took on the role of being practical._

'_Look Ianto...Jack obviously really wants this...what's stopping you?...why don't you just say yes?' she asked._

_Ianto drew himself up in a self righteous manner._

'_Because he will want to use it for sex' he said pointing at Jack._

_Jack just grinned not bothering to deny it._

'_So?' asked Laura._

'_The neighbours will see' Ianto answered as if this argument were self explanatory._

'_No they won't...your garden is huge...and there is a considerable distance between you and your nearest neighbour...we've seen your house Ianto...anyone wanting to look into your garden will need binoculars and a great deal of determination...that excuse is not going to wash' said Hugo._

'_But they __**might**__ see...they might think we're gay' said Ianto becoming aware that his arguments were pretty pointless._

_His three teammates looked at him in amazement and confusion._

'_But what they think doesn't matter...we don't live in the dark ages' argued Laura._

_And you __**are **__gay' said Deeta firmly._

'_Not gay' muttered Ianto under his breath._

_Jack came down to the main hub floor and encircled Ianto in his arms._

'_Ianto we've been together nearly twenty years...I think it's safe to say you are a little bit gay' he smiled affectionately._

_Ianto buried his head in Jack's shoulder acknowledging he was being a bit ridiculous._

'_But if you don't want the neighbours to know that...that's ok...we won't get a hot tub' continued Jack._

_Ianto felt ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he was still hiding a part of himself after all these years, ashamed that Jack thought he was embarrassed by their relationship. But he still didn't think of himself as gay, it had only ever been Jack._

'_It's ok Jack...we'll get a tub...I'm sorry' he whispered to his lover. _

_Then Ianto grinned at him._

'_But can we get the one with the mirrored tiles?'_

_The three teammates looked on. The girls sighed and Hugo muttered._

'_So __**very**__ gay'_

Ianto laughed as the scene played out before him. He didn't think of himself as gay and was always denying it to Owen. Was he really still going to be denying it in twenty years?

TWTWTW

Jack jerked awake and immediately felt guilty that he had fallen asleep whilst his Welshman was still missing. He sat up and checked his team were still hard at work.

That's enough...get him back...bring him home Doctor... he unconsciously echoed Ianto's earlier thoughts when he had witnessed Toshiko dying.


	4. Chapter 4

Ianto was still lost.

He was beginning to think of himself as one of J. M. Barrie's lost boys. He was lost in time and unlikely ever to grow up, or at least to grow any older. Jack was the Peter Pan of Torchwood, they didn't need another. Ianto wanted to be rescued.

He watched as the hub came back into focus. This must be a time from when he had first been recruited for there was Suzie. It made Ianto jump a little to see a dead person back in the hub and he felt a little sick from knowing what she would eventually do.

But today she was happy. She was flirting with both Jack and Owen and joking with them all.

TW

_Ianto was completing paperwork as Jack came and placed more on his desk._

'_Thanks Ianto' he said airily dumping the work on the other man._

'_Do you never do your own paperwork Jack?' asked Suzie thinking to defend the newcomer._

'_Nope...not when I can have a gorgeous Welshman do it for me' said Jack enjoying the blush that crept over Ianto's features._

_Jack wandered back to his office. Ianto hunched over his work trying to avoid too much interaction with his colleagues. He still wasn't confident of his role in this work place and needed to remain as unobtrusive as possible for now._

'_Owen do you have the results on that autopsy yet for me to enter into my programme?' asked Toshiko engrossed in the file she was updating on her computer._

'_Yeah...I'll fetch it in a minute' Owen continued to speak low to Suzie in a conversation that was making her giggle and blush, eventually she pushed him away whilst trying not to look at Toshiko._

_Jack came out of his office and strode across the floor, coat tails flapping behind him._

'_I'm off to save the world people' he announced flouncing out of the main door._

'_Bloody hell...he thinks he's the caped crusader' sniggered Owen and Suzie laughed outright whilst Ianto and Toshiko looked down to hide small smiles at the expense of their boss._

_TW_

Ianto laughed as he remembered the scene before him. Jack did sometimes look like he was wearing a super hero cape in that coat. But Ianto had grown to love that coat and he felt his heart contract slightly as the thought of never touching it again.

TWTWTW

Ianto found himself looking down on the med lab. There was just himself and Owen, he was helping the Doctor with clean up after yet another alien autopsy. He was mopping blood and other substances he did not wish to think about from the floor whilst Owen documented his findings.

TW

'_Right teaboy...we are all done' announced Owen._

_Ianto looked around and smiled at him._

'_Ianto...you make coffee and I'll finish the cleaning' offered Owen._

_Ianto nodded and left for his kitchen. Owen joined him ten minutes later and they sat companionably together on the battered sofa._

'_Haven't you got somewhere more exciting to be Owen?' asked Ianto surprised the medic had not rushed off as usual._

'_Nah' said Owen 'drinking and shagging around is no life for a respectable doctor' _

_Ianto laughed._

'_Have you ever been a respectable doctor Owen?' he asked._

_Owen closed his eyes with momentary pain._

'Yeah...once upon a time...in another life' he said.

_Ianto thought for a moment. Jack had told him that Owen had lost someone he cared about when they were dealing with the aftermath of Lisa. Maybe Owen had been very different then. Maybe the Owen they all saw, the damaged, cold and shallow Owen was not who he really was deep down. This was Torchwood...they all hid themselves._

_He looked over at the moody medic and allowed a small encouraging smile to play over his lips._

'_We've all loved and lost Ianto...you don't have a monopoly on grief' sniped Owen._

'_I never thought I did' whispered Ianto sadly._

_Owen looked at him._

'_No...sorry' he said._

_The two continued to sit and drink their coffee._

'_Did you love Jack?' asked Owen._

_Ianto considered whether he wanted to share this information, but Owen rarely asked or offered to share and it would be a pity to reject anything he did offer._

'_I'm not sure...thought I did...but it's hard to keep those emotions running when the person they are aimed at hurts you' he admitted._

'_Will you go back to him when he returns?' asked Owen._

'_Still don't know...not sure he will return' answered Ianto._

'_He will...for us...for you' said Owen in a moment of rare honesty._

_Ianto looked at him hope shining in his eyes. Owen felt a pang of fear for the young man before him. God knows he enjoyed riling Ianto and the two of them were always sparring but he wouldn't wish more hurt on the damaged young man._

'_Ianto...when he does return...and you start shagging him again...make him work for it...give him hell first' he suggested._

_Ianto grinned at the concern shown by the doctor._

'_Ok' he agreed._

_TW_

Ianto smiled remembering the scene. Owen rarely showed concern for anybody but they had grown closer whilst Jack had been away, had grown to appreciate each other's areas of expertise. They still sniped at each other, still warred for the upper hand but there was less aggression behind the words now.

Ianto wanted to go home. He missed his friends, he even missed Owen. He stifled a sob thinking that he might never be able to talk to them again, would only get to watch them endlessly.

A new scene emerged.

TW

_The team were celebrating the end of a week long fight to discover and disarm a Lamen warrior. They had chased it all over Cardiff and the surrounding area as it hunted. At least it only hunted animals not humans. But it left marks which confused and worried police forces and it couldn't be allowed to continue raising suspicions. _

_When finally cornered it had agreed peacefully to leave but the intervening week had been hectic and chaotic. Jack had insisted they celebrate the successful conclusion of the mission with a few drinks and a pizza._

_Elizabeth lazed seductively in one of the easy chairs in the conference room laughing at something Jack had said and leaning in unnecessarily close to whisper to him. Lydia was itching to get back to her med lab and run more diagnostic tests on the blood the Lamen warrior had freely given. She wanted to categorise the species in her own special way._

'_I'm off to the lab Ianto...is that ok?' she asked._

'_Of course...but you really should get off home soon...get some rest whilst you can' he suggested._

'_Yeah..I know...just want to complete a couple of tests and I'll leave the rest for tomorrow...promise' she replied almost running in her eagerness to analyse._

_Ianto smiled at her enthusiasm and began to clear away some of the rubbish and crockery. _

'_Right... well I'm off to share myself with the ladies of Cardiff' announced Ivan 'you coming Beth?' he asked._

'_No...I'm ok here' she replied not even bothering to look up at her teammate._

_Ivan looked over at Ianto a little worried at watching his teammate flirt with the boss in front of his partner. But Ianto merely looked back at him calmly and told him to have a good night and followed him out of the room to the kitchen._

'_Doesn't it bother you Ianto?' Ivan asked the older man as they left together._

_Ianto looked at the concerned young man before him._

'_No' he answered quietly._

'_Why not?....she's all over him...practically sitting in his lap...I've tried to tell her it's not fair but she won't listen' Ivan said, he liked Ianto and did not like to think of him being upset._

'_She'll get bored eventually and find someone else' said Ianto mildly._

'_But don't you want to mark and claim what belongs to you?' asked Ivan genuinely not understanding why Ianto could put up with her behaviour._

'_If I had to do that Ivan...if I had to claim Jack.. then he wouldn't really be mine...he belongs to me because he chooses to belong...I don't own him...I wouldn't want to..it's far more precious to be given someone's heart than it would be to write your name on it' said Ianto wisely._

'_Whoa! I can't wait to be as old and wise as you old man' laughed Ivan as he hugged Ianto briefly._

'_Enjoy your youth...what we gain in wisdom we lose in energy as we get older' laughed Ianto in response._

_Jack and Elizabeth walked towards the kitchen as Ivan left. Beth was clinging to Jack's arm and Ianto could see a 'save me' look on Jack's face. He smiled to himself, your own fault for flirting Harkness he thought._

'_Ianto...tell Jack it's ok to come out for a drink' demanded Beth._

'_It's ok to go out for a drink Jack' smiled Ianto looking over at them both._

'_I'm not coming Beth' said Jack._

'_But Ianto says it's ok...you should be with younger people...Ianto understands' she insisted._

_Jack looked at her earnestly and with determination to make her accept._

'_Yes Ianto does understand...I am always with younger people Beth...I want to be here...go home' he said._

_She pouted and flounced out of the hub, hurrying after Ivan now that better prospects had been denied to her. Ianto smiled at Jack._

'_It's your own fault...you flirt...she thinks you mean it...you never learn' he said._

_Jack approached his lover and wrapped his hands about his waist._

'_I know...but I like flirting...I'm sorry...I'll try to stop' said Jack._

'_Don't..' said Ianto 'I don't care if you flirt...but take care that those you flirt with know that's all it is...for their sake..not mine' he warned._

'_It's all it ever is...it's all it's been for a very long time now' said Jack snuggling up to his partner._

'_Ok Harkness what do you want?...you always want something when you start being this soppy'_

'_Well...I was thinking...it's been a while since we played naked hide and seek' said Jack._

'_Jack...I'm fifty two years old...do you really want to see an old man running naked around the hub?' objected Ianto._

'_I won't see an old man Ianto...I'll see you' answered Jack earnestly._

_Ianto melted when he heard the truthful tone of those words and grinning he began to undress._

'_You count first' he said running off and stripping as he went._

_TWTWTW_

Ianto laughed. Jack's desire to play childish games was in direct opposition to his chronological age.

He wasn't sure he would ever get used to seeing himself so much older than he was. But it was still him, he still recognised all his own little mannerisms.

His heart sang every time he saw himself older and still with Jack. He yearned for stability in his life and Torchwood had robbed him of it. Torchwood took Lisa and took his security. He had expected to stay with Lisa forever, build a life, have a family and above all be normal. It was what he wanted more than anything.

Then he found Jack. Jack could never give him a family or normality and Ianto had supposed he would not give him security and love either. He had not expected or even wanted those things with Jack when they first started their relationship.

When Jack returned things had been different. Jack had made it obvious he wanted more, wanted them to be together properly. But love had not been mentioned, normality was not possible and forever was not a word to be used by Torchwood operatives involved with an immortal.

Ianto sighed. Would he ever return to Jack and talk to him about their relationship?

TWTWTW

Jack emerged from his office.

'Ok people...go home...get some rest...' he ordered.

The team looked up reluctantly. Nobody wanted to go home whilst Ianto was still missing but they were not actually achieving anything.

Owen and Toshiko began to pack away and Toshiko set her programme to continue running and to alert her at home to any possible pattern of time anomalies that might suggest a way of following Ianto.

They trudged out of the hub tired and dejected because they were not making any progress. Gwen dawdled to talk to Jack.

'I can stay Jack...keep you company' she suggested.

Jack looked at her. He knew she was trying to be kind but he didn't think he could cope with sympathy on Gwen's scale right now.

'No...go home to Rhys...he'll be pleased to see you...I'll be ok' he insisted.

'Jack?' she said hesitantly.

Jack merely raised his eyebrow in question.

'I thought you two were just playing around...but it's more than that isn't it?' she asked.

Jack looked down.

'Yes...it's become more than that...I miss him...I want him back...and I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight...go home' he said.

Gwen nodded in understanding.

'We'll find him' she whispered kissing Jack on the cheek and walking quietly out of the hub.

Jack's reserve broke once the last member of the team had left. He allowed the tears to stream unchecked down his face and just sat dejectedly on the sofa, resigned to another sleepless night without his Welshman.


	5. Chapter 5

TWTW TW

Ianto's breathing quickened as the scene before him unfolded. He knew immediately that this was after the cannibals. He saw himself enter the hub just in front of Jack, desperately trying to contain the horror he had witnessed. He had thought at the time that Jack had bought him back to the hub to complete paperwork and cover stories for the media.

He had been wrong.

TW

_Ianto walked purposefully over to his monitor and fired it up ready for whatever Jack thought necessary. Jack came to join him and placed a hand over his on the keyboard._

'_Ianto...what are you doing?' he asked._

'_Getting ready to work sir' answered Ianto._

'_What work exactly?' asked Jack._

_Ianto looked up at him._

'_Well...I don't know...whatever it is you want me to do' said Ianto becoming confused._

'_I want you to stop...to cry..to shout...to rave about monsters...and eventually to sleep' said Jack gently._

'_I don't understand' mumbled Ianto._

'_I haven't bought you back here to work Ianto...but because I don't want you to be alone...I took you out into the field and almost got you killed...I gave you yet another nightmare and I'm sorry' said Jack sadly._

_Some of the tension drained out of Ianto at Jack's words. Whilst he had been needed to work he could concentrate on holding himself together, but now the dam broke and he gave a convulsive sob and collapsed into Jack's waiting arms._

_The two men just held each other until Ianto eventually stopped sobbing long enough to look up at his boss._

'_I'm sorry...I'm under control now' he murmured surprised to see that Jack had been crying also._

'_You don't always have to be under control Ianto...sometimes you need to lose control in order to let out the emotions so that they don't strangle you' said Jack wisely._

_Jack led them both to the battered sofa and sat them down._

_Stay here' he ordered and left._

_He returned moments later with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, half filling them and handing one to Ianto. Ianto took his with hands that still trembled slightly and downed the drink in one go._

'_Whoa...steady...a drink is good for the shock but getting drunk is not on the agenda ok?' Jack asked._

'_Ok' mumbled Ianto._

_Jack passed an arm around Ianto's shoulders and pulled him close._

'_Shush...you're safe now...I'm here...you're safe' he stroked the young man's hair in a comforting gesture._

_Jack wasn't sure whether he wanted to offer that comfort to himself or to the other man._

_Ianto calmed and turned his head so that his face was resting in the crook of Jack's neck and inhaled the other man's scent deeply. It was intoxicating but at the same time made him feel safe. Without thinking he placed a soft kiss on his neck then pulled away and looked into his face apologetically._

_But instead of apologising he found himself kissing his cheek and then leaning in to ghost a kiss across Jack's lips. He took a deep breath and leaned his forehead against Jack's._

'_I'm sorry' he whispered 'Oh God as if my life isn't fucked up enough...now I'm kissing men'_

_Jack tilted his head so that Ianto was looking at him._

'_Don't be sorry Ianto...God knows I want you badly enough...and what's wrong with kissing men?' he smiled._

'_Nothing's wrong with it Jack_' _sighed Ianto._

_He really didn't have the energy to explain to Jack that he wasn't used to being attracted to men, too much had happened today for that to be even slightly important._

_Jack was puzzled, he knew Ianto was attracted to him so what was stopping the man. Probably still not over Lisa, but at least that kiss suggested he might be getting there. Jack lived in hope. But he recognised that tonight was not the time._

'_Don't worry...I'm not going to jump you just because you kissed me when you were feeling vulnerable' he said running his hand down the younger man's face reassuringly. _

_Ianto smiled at him tentatively and Jack placed small kisses over his face and neck as he whispered._

'_You. Are. Safe.'_

_Ianto had closed his eyes whilst Jack kissed him and reassured him but now he opened them and looked at the other man before reaching up and kissing him properly, full on the lips. Ianto pulled Jack towards himself and deepened the kiss daring to push his tongue gently against the other man's lips and further into his mouth. _

_Jack broke the kiss before it went too far._

'_Come on...you and I are going to bed' he said._

_Ianto looked at him startled. He had enjoyed kissing his captain but going to bed with him was in a whole different category which Ianto had no desire to explore._

'_To sleep Ianto' reassured Jack._

'_We both need sleep...and I want someone to be there...I don't want to be alone...just warm arms in case of nightmares...would that be ok?...I thought you might like it too' he continued._

_Ianto realised how tired he was. Yes he did want to sleep, and yes he did not want to be alone. He allowed himself to be propelled towards Jack's underground bedroom._

_The two men stripped to underwear and got under the covers quickly, showers would be left until morning when they were not so weary. They lay side by side, not touching, suddenly aware of themselves and the situation._

'_Jack have you seen anything like this before?' asked Ianto._

_Cannibalism? Yes...but not on this scale...not a whole community...and why only every ten years? Some things defy rationality Ianto. Maybe we don't need to understand....maybe it's enough that we stopped them' he answered quietly._

_Ianto turned his head to look at his boss and shuffled over slightly so that he was pressed against Jack's side. He watched Jack's lips and heard his own mind saying 'don't do it...don't do it' yet he ignored himself and reached up to kiss him again._

_Jack responded to the kiss, pulling Ianto towards himself and caressing the younger man's tongue with his own. He felt Ianto's cock grow hard against his thigh and his own harden in response, this was not good._

'_Ianto stop! Don't do this...you'll regret it...you're feeling vulnerable and stressed...I don't want to take advantage of that' whispered Jack breaking the kiss. _

'_I won't blame you' said Ianto softly._

'_I want you so badly Ianto...but you don't have to purchase my concern and comfort with your body...I give you those freely...if and when we get together I want it to be for pleasure...I want you to want it as much as I do' explained Jack pulling away with great effort._

_Ianto breathed a sigh of relief. As much as his body was urging him on to touch the captain his mind was screaming at him to stop. He needed something to take his thoughts away from the horrors they had witnessed, but Jack was right if he seduced the other man he would regret it, he was not gay._

_TW_

Ianto did not know whether to laugh or cry. He knew his former self would fall asleep telling himself he was not gay, and the horrors of the day had produced a reaction that would never normally be there. But he also remembered the disgusting sights they had witnessed in the countryside, the horror that men could do to men.

He stood and watched as Jack held his former self as he fell asleep. Then he was stunned as he saw tears roll down Jack's face and the gentle way he caressed the man in his arms and rocked him, kissing his head.

Ianto had been asleep when Jack did this and had not realised it had happened. He stood observing and was stunned to realise Jack had feelings for him even at this early stage, even before their relationship started.

His stomach twisted as he took in things he had never known and re-evaluated his opinion of his lover. It occurred to him he might have to rethink many things before he found himself back at home.

TWTWTW

Ianto watched as yet more people he did not know materialised. It would appear they were all leaving for the night.

'Night all...where's Jack?' yelled a girl with blonde hair.

'It's not been a good day for him...he's in the morgue' answered her colleague.

Ianto watched the expressions cross the faces in front of him and suddenly felt panicked. They were looking at each other in sympathy for something Jack was suffering. Ianto ran to the morgue.

TW

'_Why did you leave me?...I can't bear it Ianto' sobbed Jack leaning over a partially opened morgue drawer._

_Ianto gasped as he realised it must be his body in the drawer. He was witnessing his own death, or rather the aftermath of it. He crept closer._

'_Jack?' he whispered._

_Jack's head whipped up to look at him._

'_Ianto?' he questioned and looked down at the drawer and back up at the man in front of him again in disbelief._

_Further speech was not forthcoming from Jack so Ianto dared to look into the drawer. He breathed heavily as he looked down and saw himself still and peaceful._

_Jack's mind was quickly assimilating the evidence of his eyes. He had spent much of his youth travelling in time so he quickly realised how this situation was possible._

'_Oh God Ianto' he breathed._

'_Am I dead?' asked Ianto realising it was a stupid question but asking it nevertheless._

'_Yes' answered Jack looking at the body 'and no' he continued looking at the man before him._

'_How old am I?' asked Ianto looking at the body again._

'_I'm not sure I should tell you' whispered Jack._

_Ianto nodded, perhaps it was for the best that he not know any more details. However the evidence before his eyes suggested that he was about sixty five, maybe a couple of years either way, a good age for a Torchwood operative._

'_You still care?' he whispered to Jack surprised ._

'_I still love you, yes' answered Jack._

_Ianto looked up at him in shock. That Jack loved him at all was a surprise, that he should still love him years later when Ianto was so much older was a deep shock._

'_You're from a time before I told you that?' asked Jack._

'_Yes' whispered Ianto amazed._

_Jack nodded._

'_When you get back tell me to stop being such a prat and just say it...I remember you said that to me one day after we lost you for a time'_

_Jack smiled to himself at the memory._

'_You also told me I would see you again after you died. That I would be able to see that somewhere in time we were still together ,still laughing and still loving...you promised me...and here you are keeping that promise' Jack whispered in awe._

_Ianto looked again at his own body in the casket, his eyes drawn to the band of gold on his left ring finger. If he and Jack were still together had they split at some time and he had married? Then his eye was caught by the matching ring on Jack's hand. Oh this was too weird, were he and Jack actually married?_

_Jack noticed him looking._

'_They're symbolic Ianto...we never did anything legally...but they were meaningful for us' he said gently._

_Jack loosened the ring on his finger, holding it out to Ianto. _

'_When I gave you your ring you gave me a matching one. I never knew how you could have got it. They're made of Baxilian gold...I asked the Doctor to get yours...you told me one day I would understand where mine came from...and now I do' he smiled._

'_Take it back with you...keep it safe' he continued 'hide it with the letters' he finished._

'_What letters?' asked Ianto._

'_When you died' Jack gulped 'you had set a delayed timer on a computer programme...when you weren't there to deactivate it, it sprang into life sending me a message telling me about the secret drawer and the letters'_

_Ianto looked at him, his Gran's dresser had a secret drawer that she had shown Ianto how to activate but he hadn't kept anything in there since he was a teenager._

'_I think you must have started writing them after you got back from this little time trip because the first one talks of how you knew how much it would hurt me when you died..but then you just wrote lots of them... after important events...or good nights' he grinned at Ianto cheekily 'or just if you had something you wanted to tell me..' he said sadly._

_Jack looked up at Ianto and pleaded._

'_Write them Ianto...I loved them...it hurt to read them...but they gave me a lot of comfort'_

_Ianto gulped and nodded agreement._

'_They must go in the drawer though...because I looked through your stuff regularly' Jack admitted sheepishly 'I've even been known to read your diary' he whispered hardly daring to look at the other man._

'_I know' replied Ianto quietly._

_Jack grinned at him._

'_I thought you might...you sometimes wrote things I think you would have found hard to tell me'_

_Ianto nodded acknowledging his inability to speak some things out loud._

'_Even had some saucy suggestions for our sex life...that I oh so accidentally soon afterwards would ask if you would like to try' Jack winked at him and Ianto laughed._

'_Keep it with the letters until you need it' whispered Jack returning the conversation to the rings and handing his over to Ianto._

'_I've not been able to communicate with anyone before...all the things I've seen and not been able to talk to you or me or anyone...why now?' asked Ianto._

_Jack shrugged._

'_Probably because the other you is dead...but I don't really know' he admitted._

'_The Doctor...he said I would only travel in my time line...this is outside of that...so why am I here?' asked Ianto._

_Jack smiled._

'_Still the man with all the questions' he said 'but you are still very much here as far as I'm concerned...maybe that has something to do with it' he said apologetically._

_Ianto's hand tingled as he touched Jack to take the ring. It felt like a small electric shock and made him jump slightly. _

'_We're from different timelines...the universe might let us see and hear each other..but it definitely does not want us to touch' sighed Jack sadly._

'_Since when do you follow rules?' laughed Ianto and leaned in and kissed Jack passionately, ignoring the pain._

_Jack laughed joyfully as they broke the kiss._

'_When you go back...' he began._

'_What is it Jack?' asked Ianto as he saw the other man hesitate._

'_We only ever had one really big argument Ianto. We were always faithful...before you yell at me for looking at Cara...remember how you looked at David' Jack gazed at him playfully._

_Ianto thought about this._

'_Who are Cara and David'_

'_It doesn't matter...they didn't matter...I never cheated on you...just liked to look sometimes...as did you' laughed Jack._

'_Jack...unless David is a girl's name in the future I'm unlikely to be looking at him lustfully...' insisted Ianto 'you know it's never been men for me...just you...only you'_

'_I know Ianto....but you looked...believe me you looked...and wait until you see David, he was worth looking at' laughed Jack._

'_I never worried when you looked...I'm sorry I didn't make you feel safe enough not to worry...you didn't need to worry Ianto...you never needed to worry..' he smiled a little sadly at his partner._

_Ianto smiled back at him._

'_I'll try to remember' he promised._

'_Jack...won't this create a paradox...giving me the ring that I eventually give you?' asked Ianto puzzled._

_Jack gave this some consideration._

'_Don't know' he eventually said 'but you did give it to me...so you have to take it now...look after it and let time look after itself' he decided._

'_I'll look after it' promised Ianto._

_Jack's eyes were shining with unshed tears as he looked his fill at the young man who had once again not let him down._

'_Go back and love as hard as you can...go back and make it good' he said._

'_I promise' whispered Ianto as the mist swirled._

_TW_

Ianto's heart filled with joy. He would be with Jack throughout his life. It was not a normal life, there would be no marriage, no children but lots of love. He wanted to burst with anticipation. But he had to get home or it would never happen.

TWTWTW

Ianto reappeared in the main body of the hub and wanted to cry with relief when he once more saw Gwen, Owen and Toshiko. He watched himself filling out some paperwork and then smiling briefly at his teammates before heading in the direction of the archives.

Ianto stopped himself from following and stayed to listen to his colleagues.

TW

'_He's been back a week...looks like he's staying' said Owen._

'_Hmm' answered Gwen._

'_What?...you think he'll leave again?' asked Toshiko worriedly._

'_I don't know' said Gwen 'he's not exactly told us anything has he? Not where he went?... who he was with?...why he left?'_

'_Maybe it's personal' mused Owen._

'_Maybe Ianto knows' suggested Toshiko._

'_I don't think so' said Owen 'Ianto's not exactly talking much either...God he's such a bastard...running off'_

'_Yeah' agreed Gwen 'I don't understand why he won't talk to me'_

_Toshiko looked at her teammates and wondered if either of them realised how much they needed their leader. She very much doubted that Owen would recognise his own need for Jack to guide and restrain him, almost in the role of substitute father. Gwen was totally in love with the hero she thought Jack was. Toshiko recognised this as a mistake, Jack was no hero, just a flawed human being. _

_But he did have responsibilities to his team and especially to Ianto. Toshiko thought Ianto was in love with Jack. Both Owen and Gwen would eventually forgive and forget Jack's betrayal. Toshiko thought that Ianto had already forgiven him but she doubted he would ever be able to forget. Her heart ached for her friend._

_Toshiko made a sudden decision and marched to Jack's office. She noticed he was watching Ianto on CCTV but ignored his wistful expression and waded straight onto the offensive._

'_Jack why did you leave?' she demanded closing the door forcefully._

_Jack looked up at his co-worker._

'_I had no choice Tosh' he answered._

'_Rubbish Jack...there is always a choice' scorned Toshiko._

'_I didn't think so' said Jack sadly._

'_Well Owen is still wondering why daddy left...Gwen is still wondering where her hero went...and I'm really mad at you Jack' she snarled._

_Jack made to say something but Toshiko held up her hand imperiously._

'_No!! You do not get to talk right now...Owen and Gwen will get over themselves and I will get past my anger' she looked down at the floor and her anger seemed to calm somewhat._

'_But what about Ianto Jack?'_

'_What about him' asked Jack but there was a catch in his voice._

'_Look at him Jack' insisted Toshiko pointing to Ianto's image on the CCTV system._

'_You broke him...I can't bear it..put him back together..mend him Jack' and with a sob Toshiko left Jack's office not waiting to see his reaction._

TW

Ianto had always been closer to Toshiko than any of his other teammates and he knew she worried about him, but he felt a warmth spread through him as he watched her determination to save him from further hurt. She had stood up to their boss and confronted him with the results of his actions. He smiled at her fierceness, wanted to hug her for her concern.

He tucked this memory into the back of his mind to peruse again when he returned home and could thank her in person.

I want to go home. I want to allow Jack to mend me he thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Would this never end?

Ianto was watching an earlier version of himself and Jack tiptoeing around their desire for each other. Ianto's breath caught as he realised his earlier self was about to take the initial step that started their relationship in earnest.

TWTWTW

_For two weeks since the incident when Jack had insisted the next move would be his, Ianto had been trying to contain his lust for the other man. Or rather he had been trying to act on it in subtle and soft ways. He wanted Jack but he wasn't entirely sure what it was he wanted. He thought about him constantly, fantasised about him, watched the way his body moved and thought about what it would look like without the clothes. _

_Oh God, did he really want to have sex with a man? He tried to imagine himself as gay and it just didn't work. He liked women with their rounded forms and their soft skin, but when he found himself jerking off in the shower to the image of a naked Jack he could no longer deny the appeal of angular shapes and stubble._

_He began to touch Jack in subtle ways that he wasn't sure the other man noticed. When he placed his coffee on the desk he would lay a gentle hand on his shoulder as he looked over the paperwork Jack was signing. His hands lingered as he helped Jack on with his coat. He handed him a file and held his fingers briefly whilst looking into Jack's eyes, then snatched both eyes and hands away as he realised his actions were being noted._

_After two weeks of this tension, one night when the others had all gone home and Jack was using Toshiko's monitor to look over her recent findings on rift prediction exercises Ianto took a chance. _

'_I'm leaving now sir...unless you have anything else you'd like me to do' he said moving towards Jack._

_Jack stood up, hands at his side and looked earnestly into Ianto's face._

'_You could stay and talk' he suggested and Ianto was surprised to see no hint of harassment in the way he looked at him._

_Ianto moved towards him on impulse and ghosted a kiss across the other man's lips. He moved his head back until he could focus on Jack's eyes and gauge his reaction. He could not read the other man's expression and so did what he wanted to do and leaned in for a proper kiss. He softly twined his fingers with Jack's for support. Gently caressing his lips over Jack's and then pressing slightly harder until he got a reaction and they were kissing properly._

_When the kiss broke Jack looked at him with questions in his eyes._

'_What now Ianto?' he asked softly._

_Ianto looked at him pleadingly._

'_I don't know...help me Jack' he begged._

_Jack raised an eyebrow at him._

'_What do you want Ianto?' he asked him._

'_Help me Jack...' begged Ianto again 'I'm sorry...I know it must be disappointing that I've never done this before...I don't know what comes next'_

_Jack took a quick step back._

'_Seriously?' he asked in alarm._

'_What?' asked Ianto in confusion._

'_Ianto are you trying to tell me you're a virgin?' asked Jack stiff with horror._

_The tension broke for Ianto at the look of shock on Jack's face._

'_You don't need to make it sound like something morally reprehensible' he said._

'_Oh my God...you are a virgin' gasped Jack unsure what he would do now._

_Ianto laughed outright at the mixture of confusion... and was that outrage? in Jack's expression._

'_No..I'm not a virgin...just never done anything with another bloke before' he smiled._

_Ianto took a deep breath and continued leaning in and making another shy move. He began to kiss Jack's neck and up behind his ears, smiling to himself as he heard Jack gasp. He made a mental note of the sensitive spot._

'_Take me to bed Jack?' he asked._

'_You sure you want to do this?...there's no hurry' whispered Jack a little unsure now that Ianto had made his confession._

'_No I'm not sure Jack...I don't even know what it is I want to do' Ianto admitted._

'_I realise that lack of knowledge might be a little frustrating for you...but I can learn fast...you know that...show me what to do Jack...this is the 21__st__ century...I have some knowledge of what men might do together' he cocked his head to the side 'I do after all have internet access' he smiled 'I've...just never tried it...I'm inexperienced..not naive...just...show me how' he begged._

'_You watch internet porn?...gay internet porn?' asked Jack cheekily breaking the tension._

_Ianto laughed._

'_I'm not Owen...it wasn't porn..it was....research' he insisted._

_Jack looked at him earnestly and continued._

'_A lack of experience is not frustrating Ianto...and I don't want you to feel this is another chore you have to get right and learn to do well...but I do want you to be sure...if you've never wanted a man before take a moment to consider this...I don't want to think I've pressured you into it' he said._

'_I don't need a moment Jack...I've been thinking of nothing else for weeks...I want to see you naked...I want to kiss you...stroke you...oh God I want to do things with you I've never given a thought to doing before...take me to bed...please' gasped Ianto._

_Jack looked at him briefly and then took his hand and led him to his underground room. They stood looking at each other once they landed in Jack's bedroom. _

_Jack took charge. He kissed the younger man gently and began to undress him, never rushing and always waiting for the change of mind that might come. _

_The refusal never happened and suddenly they were naked and Ianto had fist full of another man's cock and his brain took a moment to register how weird that was._

_Jack pushed him onto the bed and clambered on top of him. Ianto's mind caught up with what his body was doing and snapped to attention. He was naked and excited and another man was pressing his body down on to a bed._

_And just like that he panicked. _

_He stopped kissing and started pushing Jack away, kicking his legs to move the other man more quickly._

'_Oh my God Jack...stop...what the fuck are we doing' it all spilled from his mouth before he had time to think about what he was saying._

'_Well I thought we were having a good time and that it was about to get better' puzzled Jack pulling away from the struggling man under him._

_The two looked at each other for a long moment._

'_Ianto...is this not ok?...we can stop' Jack was beginning to get worried. It had never been his intention to harass Ianto into something he didn't want._

_Ianto tried to get his breathing under control and stop himself from panicking. He had wanted this, he knew that without a doubt. But he wasn't sure how far he wanted to take it, which seemed a little difficult to admit now that he was naked on Jack's bed._

'_I...I did want it Jack..I do want it...I just need a minute to think...I've not done this before' he tried apologetically 'I'm not sure how far I want to go'_

_He breathed heavily a few times._

'_Well this isn't awkward at all...having a conversation that we should have had long before we got naked' he continued._

'_Yeah' laughed Jack 'you want to get dressed?' he asked smiling to show he was ok with a withdrawal of consent._

_Ianto looked down briefly._

'_No' he said softly ._

'_You know' said Jack 'with you being a man sex virgin we could take this a little more slowly' he offered. _

'_Did you just seriously call it man sex?' laughed Ianto._

'_Well what would you call it?' asked Jack indignantly._

'_Not sure...but am sure it would not be man sex' smiled Ianto 'what do you mean by slowly?...show me?' he asked gently._

_Jack sidled over to him and pulled him into a soft embrace running his fingers down the other man's face._

'_We can be gentle...loving...soft... we can talk about what you want' he kissed Ianto softly swiping his tongue over the other man's._

_Ianto pulled back enough to smile against the other man's lips._

'_Jack...I told you I'm not an innocent...you don't need to be quite that girly'_

'_It wouldn't all be for you Ianto..' Jack said whilst kissing down the other man's neck 'I like to take things slowly sometimes...this would give me the opportunity to indulge'_

_Jack's hands were softly caressing Ianto's body and both men were beginning to breathe heavily. Jack pulled Ianto to lie down on the bed and continued to stroke him._

'_Just touching Ianto...touching and kissing...will that be ok?' he asked._

'_I'd like that Jack' smiled Ianto doing some touching of his own._

_Jack reached down to touch Ianto's cock and stroke it gently._

'_Do you like this?' he asked breathlessly._

'_Very much' gasped Ianto as his own hand reached out to touch Jack's cock in the same manner, marvelling at the silky smoothness of it, the differences and the similarities to his own._

_Jack continued to stroke and caress and kiss Ianto along his neck, across his shoulders, over his chest, licking a nipple before he travelled back up to Ianto's head to kiss him again._

'_Ok?' asked Jack._

_Ianto smiled at him._

'_Stop worrying...I'm sorry I freaked out...you're not despoiling a Victorian virgin' he said, beginning to relax now that he knew Jack would not want more than he was happy to give._

'_I'm not really worrying Ianto...just...I want this to happen again...I want to do all manner of things with you...and that's more likely to happen if you're happy with tonight' explained Jack._

'_I am happy with what's happening so far' Ianto sat up slightly and rested his head on his elbow taking the opportunity to look at Jack._

_He ran tentative fingertips over Jack's chest and looked quickly up into his eyes when he heard Jack's breath hitch from the contact. He was surprised he could make Jack respond in this way and it gave him confidence._

_He moved his hands lower and brushed Jack's cock and sat up even more to look at it as he stroked. The expression on his face was unfathomable._

'_Ianto?' questioned Jack._

'_Jack' breathed Ianto._

'_What is it?' asked Jack fighting to speak against the sensations that Ianto's hands were creating._

'_Oh God Jack' gasped Ianto._

'_What? What!' asked Jack becoming concerned._

'_I want to lick it' gasped Ianto still stroking Jack's cock._

_Jack laughed._

'_Well go ahead...I won't die of fright' he smiled._

'_I might' admitted Ianto._

_The two men looked at each other and grinned, all tension broken._

'_Don't laugh if I make a real mess of this' warned Ianto still smiling as he bent his head to this new task._

_What Ianto lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. He licked and sucked and quickly learnt from the sounds Jack was making which actions were preferred by the other man. Jack reached down and pulled him away._

_Ianto looked into his face._

'_Something wrong?' he asked disappointed, he had thought it was going quite well._

'_No...' gasped Jack 'might come if you keep that up...figured a warning might be appropriate' he smiled._

_Jack pushed Ianto onto his back._

'_Besides it's my turn' he said checking for consent before lowering his head._

_Jack was much more skilled than Ianto and soon had the other man close to orgasm._

_Ianto watched Jack sucking on his cock and the sight fed his desire and pleasure. He could see the other man pulling on his own cock which was red and distended. Ianto's breathing hitched as he watched and allowed the sensations and visions Jack was creating wash over him. As Ianto's breathing stuttered Jack's hand swiped faster on his own cock and he renewed his efforts at sucking._

_It quickly became too much for Ianto._

'_Jack...Jack..' warned Ianto scratching at the captain's shoulders._

_Jack did not stop sucking and stroking and within seconds Ianto's hips were bucking off the bed in a frantic and erratic thrusting motion as he achieved his release gasping and sobbing. Jack moaned around Ianto's softening cock as with two more hard pulls on his own he spurted come over his partner's legs._

_Jack moved up the bed slightly so that he could see into Ianto's face. He bought his come covered hand up to his face and licked his fingers._

'_Shit' breathed Ianto his cock twitching in response despite his recent orgasm._

_Jack smiled at his partners reaction, he was going to have fun with Ianto Jones._

'_Ok?' he asked leaning in for a small kiss._

'_Yeah' whispered Ianto._

_Ianto rolled over slightly to look into Jack's eyes._

'_That must have been pretty tame for you' he said apologetically._

_Jack looked at him earnestly._

'_You're not in competition with anyone Ianto...stop judging yourself because I'm sure as hell not...in case you didn't notice I quite enjoyed myself' he whispered._

'_Can we do it again?' asked Ianto._

'_Now?' asked Jack worriedly 'I'm not as young as you...might need a few minutes' _

_Ianto laughed._

'_Not now...just sometime' he said._

'_Oh yes' declared Jack emphatically._

_Ianto began tracing small circles on Jack's chest._

'_Jack?' he questioned._

'_Yes'_

'_Next time...will you show me how to find your prostate?'_

_Jack laughed outright._

'_Ianto Jones you said you were a man sex virgin...how do you know about such things?'_

_Ianto huffed._

'_Internet' he exclaimed._

'_Porn?' asked Jack._

'_Research' insisted Ianto._

_The two men laughed and relaxed back on the bed enjoying the comfort of another body close by._

_Jack loved the mixture of innocence and openness that Ianto displayed. He had a certain amount of nerves about a new experience but he also was prepared to ask for what he wanted. It boded well for their future experiences._

'_Ianto?...if you've never been with a man...have there been lots of women?' asked Jack, maybe this was where Ianto got his openness from._

'_I've had four partners' said Ianto._

_Jack looked at him in surprise. Ianto was young, but not that young and four was not many. Ianto shrugged._

'_To have sex you have to get messy Jack...and you have to lose control...I don't do either of those things with people I don't trust'_

_Jack gulped. It was wonderful to think that he had regained Ianto's trust._

'_I don't do one night stands like Owen...I prefer to know people...like them...but you don't need to worry...I don't make demands' stuttered Ianto worrying that Jack assumed he thought this meant more than it did._

'_I wasn't worrying Ianto' smiled Jack 'different people...different ways of living' he shrugged to show he accepted other people as they were._

'_So' continued Jack 'I'm the fifth person you've had sex with?' he held onto Ianto's hand to show it was a question not an accusation._

'_No' said Ianto._

_Jack looked at him in surprise._

'_You don't call what we just did sex?' he asked._

'_Oh yes...it was sex...but you were number four' answered Ianto._

TW

Ianto laughed as he watched the scene played out. Laughed at the confusion playing over Jack's face. They had come to know each other much better since then and their sex life had expanded until they had tried everything Ianto had discovered in his 'research'.

TWTWTW

As Ianto watched himself and his captain disappear and a new scene emerge he heard the sound of Gwen whispering quietly and turned expecting to see his friend, his heart leaping at the thought of seeing those he knew. He saw himself and Gwen, but much older versions, sitting talking together on the sofa and moved closer to hear the conversation.

TW

'_It's terminal Ianto...there's nothing more they can do...I wanted you to know...I won't be coming here again...will you tell Jack...I know he'll be all girly and cry..I don't think I can handle that right now' whispered Gwen._

_Ianto swallowed a sob. Gwen had been diagnosed with breast cancer eighteen months ago but her treatment had been going so well. Now she was here to tell him that her last check up had revealed the cancer had spread. Although continued treatment would give her more time ultimately the battle was lost._

'_What makes you think I won't cry?' smiled Ianto trying to be brave for his friend._

'_Because I've asked you not to...and you always put other people first' smiled Gwen._

_Ianto pulled her into a hug so that she would not see the unshed tears in his eyes and to give himself a moment to compose his mind._

'_You got out of here...had a normal life...you were supposed to be the one that survived' he said sadly._

'_I know' sniffed Gwen 'guns, aliens, madness... and bloody cancer got me in the end...but at least this way I can prepare Ianto...I can say goodbye...make my children remember how much I love them'_

'_Oh God the kids' gasped Ianto 'do they know?'_

'_We're telling them at the weekend...it's half term next week so they will have some time away from school to take it in and spend time with us...I don't know how they will take it...they're only babies really' sobbed Gwen._

_Ianto hugged her tightly again. Gwen's children were teenagers but he knew they were still babies to her._

'_Help them Ianto...you're their Godfather and sometimes Rhys won't be able to help them because of his own grief...they love you...and if they need cheering up you can bring Jack to teach them something I won't approve of' she smiled._

_Ianto laughed with her. Gwen spotted Jack out of the corner of her eye._

'_I can't deal with his emotions right now Ianto...please tell him for me...and come to see me later...both of you' she said._

_Ianto held up a hand to Jack to stop his progress across the hub towards them and Jack stopped puzzled but compliant to their obvious need for privacy. Gwen got up and made her way towards the door._

'_Ianto...when I die...I don't know what..if anything..is on the other side...but if I can...when it's your time...I'll be waiting for you' she said._

_Ianto nodded, the tears beginning to run down his face despite his determination to hold them back. Gwen hugged him._

'_Make me wait a long time Ianto' she whispered before slipping out of the hub for the final time._

_Ianto turned back and looked to where Jack was still watching. He took a deep breath and prepared to pass on the bad news._

TW

Ianto gave a convulsive sob. How could life be so cruel? Gwen had chosen to leave Torchwood, had chosen Rhys and her children and the universe was going to take her away from them. He had seen Toshiko die and now Gwen was leaving. Please God let Owen be creating chaos in Cardiff he prayed.

He wanted to cry for his friend and for himself but the scene faded and he saw himself much younger again entering the hub. Ianto's breath caught as once more he watched his beautiful friend Toshiko sitting elegantly at her monitor.

TW

_Ianto came rushing across the hub and into Jack's office._

'_Jack...can I use your shower?' he asked._

'_Of course...why?' asked Jack._

_It was the middle of the day and Ianto had just returned from his lunch break. Showers in the middle of the day were usually the result of chasing aliens or very inventive sexual activity. Jack knew Ianto had not been out chasing aliens and he would have serious words if the need to shower arose from sex that hadn't involved him._

'_Just been to get my hair cut...it's been driving me mad and we never seem to have the time to fit in mundane things like that...need to get all the little hairs off me before I scratch myself to death' said Ianto._

_Jack smiled. It was true that everyday matters like haircuts tended to take second place to saving the world, but he was enjoying watching Ianto squirm with itchiness._

'_Ok' he indicated his underground room._

'_Thanks...I'll make you a drink when I'm finished' offered Ianto._

'_Ianto' said Jack._

'_Yes?' Ianto stopped in his travels towards Jack's bunker._

'_You look very cute wriggling like that...and all flushed with rushing back' smiled Jack._

_Ianto stood up straight looking annoyed._

'_I am not cute' he said in a miffed tone._

_Jack just smiled and waved him away to his shower. He emerged ten minutes later washed and in a new set of clothes, his hair still wet. Jack grinned at him as he stepped into his office._

'_Even more cute with wet hair' announced Jack._

'_Not cute Jack' insisted Ianto._

'_We'll see' said Jack and strode across his office and whipped open the door. Only Toshiko was at present on the main floor of the hub._

'_Tosh' shouted Jack._

'_Yes' said the Japanese woman looking up._

'_Is Ianto cute?' Jack asked._

'_Yes' said Toshiko simply._

'_Tosh!' objected Ianto 'puppies are cute...kittens are cute...babies under one are cute...kids in their school play are cute...grown men in suits are not cute'_

_Toshiko looked up at them both and noticed the wicked grin on Jack's face and the slightly affronted look on Ianto's._

'_In that case' she announced 'I would have to say that you are just incredibly hot'_

_She smiled as the grin faded from Jack's face and Ianto's mouth fell open to gape at her_

TWTW

Ianto laughed. Toshiko was not often cheeky and so it was a double pleasure when she was. He was close to Toshiko and they had often spent time together especially whilst Jack had been away. There was never any sexual tension between them despite the fact that they both obviously found each other attractive. They had come to an unspoken agreement not to attempt to take their relationship beyond friendship and it had allowed them to relax in each other's company.

I want to go home and be called cute by Tosh. I want to go home and hug Gwen. I want to go home and love Jack. Dear God I even want to go home and be ridiculed by Owen. Let this be the time change that takes me home he prayed as the mist swirled around him.


	7. Chapter 7

Let me be home...let me be home...let me be home...Ianto repeated constantly to himself like a mantra as the mist continued to clear.

He looked around and despaired. If he had gone home his friends would be waiting but the hub was empty. A light was on in Jack's office and he could just make out the shape of the captain at his desk. Was he actually doing paperwork? Ianto found himself smiling at the notion.

The alarm sounded and Owen walked in. Ianto almost called out to the man before realising the futility of the gesture. He watched Jack come out of his office to see who had arrived.

TWTWTW

'_Owen? You're in early' said Jack looking at the doctor down in the med lab where he had immediately gone on arrival._

'_Needed another painkiller' explained Owen injecting himself with the medication._

'_That wound going to be a problem?' asked Jack._

'_No...it's quite superficial really..but I'll not be able to work out in the field for a week or so....lucky your ex boyfriend is such a bad shot' snarked Owen._

'_He's not' announced Jack 'if he'd wanted you permanently disabled then it would have happened' he continued sadly._

'_Great...good to know...any more crazy people from your past likely to show up and finish the job?' asked Owen testily._

'_Shouldn't think so' said Jack biting his lip as he thought about the possibility._

_Owen left the lab and moved up into the main hub with Jack, sitting on the old sofa giving the drugs time to work into his system. Jack came to sit with him._

'_So...you going back to this Doctor chap?' asked Owen._

_Jack turned to look at him._

'_I believe I answered that question when Ianto asked it...I came back because this is where I belong...I came back for all of you'_

'_And Ianto?' queried Owen._

'_Most of all for Ianto' answered Jack quietly._

'_Don't fuck him about Jack...don't pretend he's important if he's not...don't tell him you'll stay if you're going back to someone else' said Owen 'please' he finished softly._

_Jack looked at him in surprise. Owen rarely showed emotion and never appeared to care about anyone. Owen shrugged as he saw the older man watching him in astonishment._

'_You hurt him...since you've been gone every cell in his body has been taut with the effort of not letting the hurt show...yesterday some of them relaxed...I don't want him to suffer again'_

'_You saw this?' asked Jack still surprised._

'_You had to be looking...Ianto's always contained...but yes..I saw'_

'_And you cared?' asked Jack._

'_I'm his doctor' snarled Owen 'but Ianto is a good man...he's kind, thoughtful, generous...and he's just a kid...if you hurt him again I may have to thump you'_

_Owen smiled at him but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes and Jack recognised the reality of the threat._

'_I'll try not to hurt him Owen...I've had a bad time..I need someone to love me and I think that someone could be Ianto...I'd like it to be Ianto' admitted Jack._

'_What about him...will you love him back?' insisted Owen._

'_I don't know Owen...but I'm willing to see' answered Jack earnestly._

'_Humph' announced Owen eventually 'I'm surprised he's not in yet'_

'_He's in bed downstairs' said Jack._

'_Oh my God..you don't waste time' Owen snorted._

'_He only slept here...nothing more' said Jack 'yet..!' he winked at the medic and Owen rolled his eyes._

'_Just remember I'm watching you Harkness' he threatened as his eyes drifted close as the drugs began to take effect._

'_I'll remember Owen' whispered Jack._

TW

Ianto watched open mouthed. Toshiko had surprised him when she confronted Jack about hurting him, but he had always known she cared. Owen's challenge however deeply shocked him. He wanted to weep for the concern the medic had shown. He had not known Owen had spoken to Jack like this, neither man had mentioned it to him. If and when he returned home he was going to spend time with each of his friends appreciating them and loving them whilst they were still around for him to do so.

TWTWTW

The mist cleared and yet again people Ianto did not recognise came into focus. But that was Lucy, he recognised her from before. She was still there, but she was an older and sterner Lucy. Ianto's heart contracted, where was Michael? Was the fierce look on Lucy's features an indication that Michael was lost to them?

He watched himself and Jack emerge from the direction of the underground car park.

TW

'_Ianto...when you've dealt with clean up and cover stories I want to speak with you' said Jack indicating his office._

_Ianto nodded and moved to fulfil his duties. Twenty minutes later he had drinks and was entering Jack's office with them._

_Jack had an unreadable look on his face._

'_Ianto...I don't want you out in the field anymore' he insisted._

'_What?' asked Ianto startled._

'_You are confined to office duties' reiterated Jack._

'_No way Jack...if I'm going to work for Torchwood then I take the same risks as everybody else' stated Ianto._

_This was a conversation they had worked through several times. Whenever Ianto was injured Jack would beg him to stay safe in the hub, keep himself out of danger so that Jack could be with him for longer._

_Jack sighed, he knew this was not going to be easy but it had to be done. The only way of convincing Ianto would be to force him to realise his obligations to the whole team and that would not be pretty._

'_Ianto...you are a liability in the field...you're forty eight years old...you can't run as fast...your reactions are slow...the team make allowances for you and it will end in one of them being injured...or worse' he said quietly._

_Ianto felt the tears begin behind his eyes. He knew Jack was right, he was not as fit as he had been when he was younger. The rest of the team were faster and they did make allowances, Ianto had seen it and refused to acknowledge it. He didn't want to be too old for active duty because that might make him too old for Jack._

_He hung his head, not speaking and letting the tears roll down his face unchecked. Jack came around to him and pulled him up into a hug._

'_It'll be ok Ianto' he said._

'_No it won't...I'm getting grey hairs...I'm too soft to run...too slow to keep up...I can't stay here to watch you slowly leave me Jack' he sobbed._

_Jack pushed him away and looked at him sternly._

'_Who said anything about leaving you?' he asked sharply._

'_Oh come on Jack...I'm getting old...I don't want it to be true but it is' stated Ianto._

'_So?' asked Jack._

'_You don't need to be with an old man Jack' answered Ianto in defeat._

'_No I don't need to be' agreed Jack 'I want to be'_

_Ianto looked up at him with hope returning to his expression._

'_Really?' he asked still unsure._

'_Really' answered Jack kissing him 'I want you out of danger so that you get to be really old and really grey and I get to keep you for a long time' he said nuzzling the other man's neck._

'_But we have to think of the team...your skills have always lain with creating cover stories and clean up anyway...now you'll just specialise...and you can still come with us on intelligence missions...just let the kids take the fast stuff' he continued._

_Ianto nodded but looked up at Jack earnestly._

'_I would let you go Jack...anytime...it will break my heart but I would do it for you' he said._

_Jack gulped._

'_And that's what makes you a better man than me Ianto...because I won't let you go...you're the closest thing to normal I've ever had...I want to have it forever...and for the record I love your grey hair...very distinguished...very sexy'_

_The two men relaxed in each other's arms. A new stage of their relationship had just begun. Neither of them had really expected it to get this far, Torchwood rarely had cause to worry about aging issues. But they were glad to be together, it gave them both something they needed._

_TW_

It felt odd to see himself worrying about getting older, he had never had cause to be concerned before about age related issues. Which was odd in itself, considering that Jack was so much older than him. Ianto smiled slightly, his age would show on his face but Jack's only ever showed in his eyes and only then in his more unguarded moments. He determined that if he got back to his Jack he would remember that the other man would always be older than him and try not to be too concerned about where that age showed.

The scene faded and another appeared.

TWTWTW

_Toshiko watched with joy as Ianto appeared in front of her. He was back._

'_Jack!!' she screamed and rushed over to hug her returned teammate._

_Toshiko gasped in horror as she fell straight through Ianto and he did not register her presence at all but continued to look towards Jack's office._

_Jack came rushing out of his office at the sound of Toshiko's cry and stopped stunned to see his lover in front of him._

'_Ianto' he gasped._

'_I can't touch him Jack...he can't hear me...what's going on?' said Toshiko._

'_At least he's here' said Jack running down the stairs to meet him, his breath catching when his hand fell straight through his lover as he tried to touch him._

_Jack joined Toshiko on the main floor and they headed for her monitor to check and scan what was apparently only an image of Ianto. Scans showed it was really him and Toshiko continued to work to try to discover why he did not respond to them._

_Gwen and Owen returned to the hub stopping immediately inside the door as they both saw Ianto._

'_Oh my God Ianto!' exclaimed Gwen rushing towards him._

_Jack and Toshiko had a moment of hope when Ianto turned in apparent response to Gwen's shout. But he turned to look at Toshiko's station, ignoring Gwen as she fell through him in an attempt at a hug._

'_Jack? What's going on?' asked Owen 'what's wrong with Ianto?'_

'_We don't know Owen' replied Jack 'he suddenly appeared but is not responding to us and as you can see we can't touch him'_

_Ianto turned again and looked towards the main hub door that Owen and Gwen had walked through just a short while ago._

'_Oh God Jack... look' whispered Toshiko._

_Jack stooped to gaze at her monitor and his shoulders fell in defeat._

'_What is it?' asked Owen._

'_Ianto is approximately seventy three seconds behind us in time' answered Toshiko._

'_That's pretty precise for an approximation Tosh' smiled Owen._

_Toshiko gave a weak smile in response._

'_It also explains why he keeps turning and looking where we have just been...he's watching what we have done...not what we are doing...' continued Toshiko._

_Jack left her side and walked towards Ianto. He held his hand up, palm toward Ianto and just stood in front of him waiting._

'_Tosh...try to get a fix on him' he demanded not moving from his new position._

'_Trying Jack' answered Toshiko._

'_If he is seeing seventy three seconds behind us we can leave him a message...write something quick' said Gwen suddenly realising the opportunity. Owen was already scribbling._

'_What do I write?' he stopped suddenly not knowing what to say. _

_Is there anything we could tell him to do that would help?' Gwen asked Toshiko._

'_No' said Toshiko sadly._

'_Jack...what are you doing?' asked Gwen in exasperation as Jack had still not moved from his position in front of Ianto with his hand held up._

'_I had the idea first...I'm leaving him a message' answered Jack._

_The other three watched as Ianto caught up to their time and held his own hand up to Jack's, a smile appearing on his face as he did so. He looked up, seemingly directly at Jack and then suddenly disappeared._

_Jack sagged, knowing his lover had been pulled to another time but relieved he had at least seen Jack's gesture of support. He would know they were looking for him, missing him._

'_Jack...he left a stronger signature this time...I think I may be able to track him more accurately if I process this into my calculations' said Toshiko quietly. _

_It could not make up for having seen Ianto, been so close but then losing him again. But it might give them hope, something to work with. Jack gulped down his tears and nodded at Toshiko, leaving the floor to deal with his grief alone in his office. _

_The other three returned to work subdued but with some renewal of hope and determination._

'_But why could we see him?...he still wasn't in our time with us....we've never seen him before' puzzled Gwen._

'_Don't know' answered Toshiko shortly not stopping her calculations._

_Gwen looked around at Owen unable to let go of her question. Owen shrugged._

'_We don't really understand any of it Gwen...doesn't really matter why...let's just keep working' he said._

TW

Ianto breathed his hope out. He had quickly realised he was close to his own timeline as the team were discussing his loss.

Toshiko had screamed and could obviously see him and then so did Jack and the rest of the team. That was new, and probably just a result of being so close to his proper time. He must have been within a few minutes or even seconds of the correct time as Jack had been able to stand close and offer his hand in a gesture of support.

Maybe he would be returned to his own time by accident. Would he be able to stay if he was? Or would he be whipped away from them all again until he could be pulled free of this time whirl?

Seeing Jack and the team working for him, missing him had given Ianto pain. But it had also renewed his hope.


	8. Chapter 8

Ianto felt the renewed hope that seeing his teammates working for his return gave him but also felt the tears that the desire to go home produced. He sat down on the stairs in the hub and allowed the tears to flow down his face before pulling his professional mask back on and telling himself he would be home soon.

He sighed and settled to watch another scene.

TWTWTW

'_Ianto...will you stay with me tonight?' asked Jack wrapping his arms about the younger man's waist._

'_Of course sir' answered Ianto smiling at Jack's antics._

'_Tosh told you about the real Jack Harkness didn't she?...told you I kissed him?' asked Jack sadly._

'_Yes' answered Ianto simply._

'_It was only a kiss Ianto...I knew he was going to die...I wanted him to have a good memory' explained Jack._

'_I know' said Ianto._

_Jack looked at the young man and tried to understand their relationship. What were they? Where was this going? What did he want from this? What did Ianto want? He tried to talk._

'_Ianto...since we ..' Jack stumbled 'I have fucked other people' he suddenly needed to know how Ianto felt about this._

'_I know' whispered Ianto._

_Jack raised his eyebrows. Ianto shrugged._

'_I know what you look like after sex Jack...what you smell like...how you act' he explained 'there have been times when I knew it wasn't me that had done that to you'_

_Jack swallowed, it was a little disconcerting to have someone know him that intimately._

'_Have you? Fucked anyone else?' he asked._

'_I believe we covered my inability to have one night shags sir' smiled Ianto._

'_But if you had met someone you liked and trusted...would you?' insisted Jack._

'_Probably...I am only human sir' said Ianto wondering where Jack was going with this line of questioning._

_Jack felt a tug at his heart as he realised that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear._

'_Did it bother you?...when you knew I'd fucked someone else?' asked Jack curiously._

'_I told you when this started Jack...I don't make demands' said Ianto._

_He looked at his older lover who was obviously struggling with some inner emotions tonight._

'_I'm not naive Jack...we don't fuck...I knew that was something you might want...something you might go to other people for...it's ok' he said softly 'different people...different ways of living' he finished echoing Jack's words to him when he had confessed his few lovers._

'_When I was with others...I fucked them...when all I wanted was to come home and make love with you' admitted Jack quietly._

'_Then why didn't you?' questioned Ianto._

_Jack shrugged._

'_I really don't know...could I now?' asked Jack._

'_I believe I already told you I would stay tonight' smiled Ianto._

_Jack took a deep breath. Tonight wasn't what he wanted, he wanted all the nights. He realised he wanted more from Ianto._

'_What if I told you I didn't want you to fuck other people? What if I wanted you all to myself?' asked Jack._

'_Then I would think you were feeling particularly sentimental...probably a result of your adventures in another era' said Ianto._

_Jack thought for a moment. It had not been often that he had wanted to be the only lover in someone's life and it was less often that he had wanted to give the same in return. However he knew that asking for fidelity required a similar promise in return._

'_I want it to be just me and you Ianto...Maybe not forever...but enough that we have to tell each other if we want someone else...would that be too weird for you?' asked Jack._

_Ianto considered. It had never occurred to him that Jack would want this. He had not felt jealous when he knew Jack had been fucking other people but he was quickly feeling a pull of joy at the thought of no longer sharing._

'_I'd like that Jack' he said quietly._

_Jack smiled at him and tried to take his hand to lead him downstairs. Ianto resisted slightly and Jack turned to look at him in some confusion._

'_Ianto?' he questioned worried Ianto had rethought his acceptance of a new turn in their relationship._

'_Jack...if you're not fucking other people...you could fuck me' Ianto offered._

_Jack laughed._

'_That was not why I suggested exclusivity Ianto...it's ok..I asked for fidelity...you don't have to offer anything else' he smiled._

'_I know' said Ianto 'But I've wanted to do it for a while...knowing you won't be fucking other people makes the decision easier' he explained._

'_Why?...why is it easier?' asked Jack genuinely puzzled and seizing the opportunity to explore Ianto's thoughts about their relationship._

'_I'm not sure' Ianto laughed at his own confusion 'perhaps because I feel this arrangement has just become a little bit more special to you...so maybe I can trust you that little bit more' he proffered._

'_Ianto...it's been longer for you...maybe you should fuck me' smiled Jack._

_Ianto gaped at him. He had assumed Jack would take the lead if they ever progressed this far. He was always in charge, he always led. He felt a surge of lust at the thought of dominating the man in front of him. He made his decision, grabbed Jack's hand and pulled him urgently towards the bedroom._

_TW_

Ianto smiled at the memory of the night. Jack's body had been so hot and tight and unbelievably good. He had watched the captain writhe under him and pressed him into the bed and claimed his body with swift and urgent thrusts. It had been several days later when Jack had fucked him and Ianto had been surprised at how enjoyable he had found the experience.

This was also the night that Jack had told him that he would possibly leave Torchwood if he found his Doctor. He had been told that the Doctor might have answers to questions that were important to Jack. Ianto was not foolish, he realised that Jack wanted more than answers from his Doctor. They had promised each other fidelity for now but they made no promises of a deeper relationship. If either of them found someone with whom they thought they could share their lives the other would be expected to accept that and relinquish their hold.

After Jack returned their relationship had started in earnest. They had begun dating and being not only faithful but involved. Emotions now had their place between the two men and Ianto had found he had wanted that more than he had realised. He missed that. He missed sex. Would he never touch his lover again?

TWTWTW

Ianto looked around surprised to see a young boy in the hub talking to an older version of himself. Surely this young boy could not be a Torchwood employee, he was only a child. Ianto was momentarily horrified at the thought that Jack would employ such a young person and at the thought that he had let him.

TW

_Ianto sat and eyed the irate young man in the chair opposite. Jack was not thrilled that he was here at all but Ianto could hardly leave him wandering the Plass looking for trouble._

'_I'm nearly seventeen Ianto...I shouldn't have to babysit my thirteen year old sister...I have places to go and things to do' he complained wildly._

'_What happened to the title?' asked Ianto placidly._

'_What?' Samuel looked up at him._

'_What happened to being called uncle Ianto' asked Ianto again, trying to calm the situation by introducing an unrelated topic._

'_Nothing...I just didn't think I needed to use it anymore...do you mind?' asked Samuel._

'_No....but I liked being uncle...made me feel a part of your life' smiled Ianto wistfully._

'_But you are a part of my life...that's why I'm here asking for your help' insisted Samuel._

_Ianto sighed._

'_This last eighteen months has been hard for your dad...since your mum died he's tried to be both parents to you...but he has to work to provide for you...and Annie is too young to be alone in the evenings' reasoned Ianto._

'_But I have things to do' wailed Samuel._

'_Do you?' questioned Ianto._

_Samuel hung his head._

'_No...well sometimes I do...but I don't want to have to look after my sister...she's really annoying at times...and then other times she starts crying over mum and I don't know what to say to her'_

_Ianto understood now. This wasn't a selfish teenager wanting everything his own way, this was a confused kid still traumatised by the early death of his mother who didn't know how to cope with, or console a younger sibling. The responsibility was too much. He made a decision._

'_Samuel I'll come and talk to your dad....ask him if I can look after Annie a couple of evenings when he's on late shifts...after all you are both my God children and I should be helping more...I wanted to offer to help but wasn't sure how to...but if your dad agrees you have to cut him some slack...you're all still grieving so be nice to each other'_

_Samuel hung his head even lower and tears fell from his eyes. Ianto went and sat next to him and put his arm around his shoulder pulling him into a hug._

'_I'm sorry...sorry I can't cope with this better...will Jack mind you coming to help' he sobbed._

'_Of course he won't mind...and you are coping just fine...you're only a kid Sam..your mum would be proud that you recognised a need for help and came to find it' he consoled his Godson._

'_Mum always said you could solve anything...that you could be trusted with anything and that was why she trusted you with me and Annie...she liked Jack...actually I think she fancied him...but she loved you' Samuel whispered._

_Ianto gulped. Samuel wiped his eyes and kissed Ianto on the cheek._

'_Thank you uncle Ianto'_

_Ianto smiled as tears gathered in his eyes at the renewal of the honorary title._

TW

So...not an employee then. This was obviously Gwen's son grown up and grieving over the loss of his mother. Ianto's heart contracted at the thought of the loss of Gwen, but he felt a stab of joy that he was able to help the boy and was obviously still very much a part of his life. And apparently he had a God daughter as well. Another joy.

More mist as the world lost focus.

TWTWTW

The hub refocused and Ianto took in the scene before him. He saw himself holding a gun to Jack's head and speaking quietly. What the hell was happening? He didn't look much older than he was now and he had already seen himself and Jack still together in his later years so what the hell was this? Were they having an argument? Was he threatening Jack for some reason? It seemed ridiculous given that Jack could not die, although Ianto was well aware that a bullet to the head hurt him a great deal. He could not imagine why he would be abusing his lover in this way.

TWTWTW

_Ianto frogmarched Jack across the hub floor at gunpoint. Jack stopped at Toshiko's desk and turned to smile at the younger man._

'_That won't work Harkness' snarled Ianto._

'_Ianto' protested Jack._

_Ianto smacked Jack across his face sending him spiralling to the floor. He looked up at him in shock._

'_You will call me sir...down on your knees' ordered Ianto._

_Jack was momentarily stunned, surely this was a little severe for doodling on paperwork for Unit. Admittedly the doodles were vaguely pornographic and it would be Ianto apologising and explaining if they had been sent, but even so._

_He looked up at Ianto's face and noticed a slight wavering of the stern expression. His lover obviously wanted this. Ianto had suffered a difficult week listening to Owen's snipes and dealing with Gwen's moods and Toshiko's complaints about computer updates that were stubbornly refusing to install on all the hubs monitors. He needed to let off some steam._

_Jack looked down submissively._

'_Yes sir' he murmured._

_Ianto grinned to himself. He should have known Jack would let him play this out. He was annoyed and frustrated with everyone but the captain was here and he was the one who would be punished. _

_He looked down at Jack on his knees before him and a jolt of arousal shot through his groin. The great Captain Jack Harkness on the floor ready to serve. Ianto's cock stood to attention quickly. He knew this was his moment to do to Jack exactly what he had dreamed of doing ever since the warehouse and dinosaur moment._

_He grabbed hold of Jack's hair and pulled his head back to look him in the eyes._

'_Hands behind your back..don't move' he ordered._

_Quickly he removed his cock from his trousers and underwear and rubbed two or three times until it was rock hard._

'_Open!' he ordered and watched in sheer bliss as the captain did just that, opening his mouth in readiness for Ianto's cock._

_Ianto placed the tip of his erection at Jack's lips allowing the other man to lick and gently suck on the end. Without warning he thrust deep inside almost making Jack gag. Ianto held onto Jack's head to prevent his escape and pulled back slightly allowing him to breathe._

_Ianto looked down at him to ensure compliance but read only lust in the captain's gaze and so gave in to his own baser instincts and began to thrust in earnest, going deeper on each inward swipe until he was seriously face fucking his lover._

_Ianto's climax built quickly as he watched Jack struggle to contain the thrusting and the dribbles of saliva drip down his chin. He had rarely seen Jack look so completely depraved and he began to stumble in his rhythm, erratically pumping._

_Jack desperately relaxed his throat and as Ianto's cock slipped further down the younger man lost control and gripping Jack's head to hold him in place he spilled his seed at the back of his mouth._

_Ianto released Jack's hair, panting and gasping as the waves of pleasure still coursed through him. He heard Jack choking slightly and looked down alarmed but his lover was grinning up at him._

'_Sorry' apologised Ianto grimacing slightly at his own behaviour._

'_Don't be' grinned Jack 'I may have to doodle more often...I love it when my restrained Welshman loses control'_

_He stood up and embraced Ianto, pushing his own erection into his hip._

'_Care to come downstairs and punish me further?' he asked lasciviously._

_Ianto laughed but pulled him eagerly to the underground room in his office._

_TWTWTW_

Ianto did not know whether to laugh or be incredibly turned on. He was relieved as he realised his future self was not seriously threatening Jack with a gun and had quickly become engrossed as the scene had played out.

He often took the lead in their sex life but he was not naturally an aggressive person and to him sex was a loving act. However after witnessing that scene and seeing Jack's acceptance of his behaviour, this would be something he would reconsider when he got back. He had to get back, he definitely wanted to try this.

He rubbed his stiffening cock through his trousers and sighed in frustration. Find me Jack, he whispered.

TWTWTW

Owen and Jack came through the main hub door without speaking. Jack immediately made for his office and Owen requested help from the girls to retrieve an unconscious weevil from the back of the SUV in the underground car park.

Gwen had gasped when she saw Jack as he was covered in blood but he had disappeared before she could ask him anything or express concern. Both girls trailed after Owen to the SUV eagerly asking about the retrieval mission.

'What happened Owen?..why was Jack so messy?' asked Gwen.

'What do you think happened Gwen?' sneered Owen.

He sometimes got annoyed with Gwen when she asked questions to which the answer was obvious. Jack was covered in blood. Surely she must realise it was either his or the Weevil's and it was unlikely to be the Weevil's.

The whole of the back seat was soaked with blood and it quickly became obvious that Jack must have bled out for there to be that much staining.

'Did he die Owen?' she asked quietly as they dealt with removing the Weevil.

'Yep' answered Owen briefly.

'It should have been a routine retrieval...it was only one Weevil...how did this happen?' asked Gwen.

'He got careless...suppose his mind is elsewhere..Weevil caught his neck' explained Owen.

The teammates got the Weevil into a cell and Gwen quickly headed off to see Jack. Owen rolled his eyes and exchanged a sympathetic look with Toshiko.

'That wasn't the worst of it Tosh' said Owen softly.

'What happened?' asked Toshiko quietly, touching Owen's arm gently.

She could see her teammate was upset by something beyond witnessing yet another of Jack's deaths.

'When he came around...he usually has Ianto holding him' whispered Owen.

Toshiko nodded to show she was listening.

'I sat with him...waiting...but not like Ianto does...not holding him..comforting...he flailed madly when he came round...looking for Ianto...he was really panicked Tosh'

Toshiko waited for Owen to continue, she sensed there was more.

'He cried Tosh...I've never seen Jack like that...huge great rending sobs that I thought would break my heart...and then he swallowed it all and just sat in silence all the way home'

Owen looked up at Toshiko with tears in his eyes, he had been greatly affected by Jack's emotional state, he didn't know how to deal with the man who was always in charge losing that control, however briefly.

'I didn't know what to say to him...how do you comfort someone who goes through something like that and then is denied the only thing that would comfort him?'

Toshiko had tears in her own eyes. She didn't know whether they were for Jack, Ianto or Owen himself. She just hugged her teammate in sympathy and support and together they made their way back to the main hub.

Gwen had gone to see Jack in the office thinking to offer the man some support.

'Jack?' she questioned as she opened the office door.

Jack had his head in his hands and was staring unseeing at his desk.

'Go away Gwen' he said flatly.

'I want to help Jack' she said.

'Go away Gwen' Jack shouted but still did not move.

'Jack!' protested Gwen when the man raised his voice to her.

Jack looked up, he knew she was only trying to be kind but he could not deal with her right now.

'I'm sorry...please Gwen...just leave me alone for a while' he lowered his voice to soften his rejection.

Gwen saw the amount of pain in her boss's face and gulped before withdrawing quietly from the room.

She wandered back to Toshiko and Owen who had returned now.

'I think we better leave him for a while' she stated.

'Yeah' answered Owen a little aggravated with the Welshwoman 'we already knew that'

The teammates all ignored each other and returned to their work. Ianto was needed back. He was needed to be peacemaker and he was needed to hold their leader together.

Toshiko sat staring at the numbers running across her monitor in a never ending frenzy. Would the programme ever find the answer? Would the Doctor?

Find us Ianto. Come home.


	9. Chapter 9

TWTWTW

Ianto saw the world come back into sharp focus. He was in the shower room of the hub. He could hear subdued voices from within a shower stall. Oh my God if that is me and Jack having sex I really don't think I can take it again he thought. It was strange and unnerving watching yourself have sex and being turned on by it was just creepy.

He had already seen a few encounters between Jack and himself and it always left him horny and desperate to get home.

TW

_Ianto pushed Jack up against the tiled wall and kissed him passionately. Jack tried to move away from the cold tiles but Ianto had other ideas and pinned him in place with his own body._

'_Ianto...cold' gasped Jack._

'_Stop complaining...after what you said just be glad I'm doing this at all' snarled Ianto._

_Jack stopped moaning and allowed Ianto to kiss down his neck and across his shoulders, shutting his eyes as the water cascaded over his naked body. Ianto poured shampoo into his palm, grabbed Jack's erection and began rubbing. It was not a gentle action but the slick of shampoo prevented any real hurt._

_Jack began to breathe heavily and tried to return the favour. Ianto brushed his hands away and flipped him around so that he was now facing the tiles. He pushed Jack's hands up against the wall and warned him of his intention with one word._

'_Brace!'_

_Jack found this new turn of events very erotic. Ianto often took the lead but rarely aggressively. Even now there was no real threat to hurt in Ianto's actions but he was very surely dominating the proceedings._

_Jack felt fingers at his entrance and tried to relax needing to concentrate hard in this position to do so._

'_Relax' instructed Ianto with the barest hint of threat to his tone._

_It was a tone that had Jack impossibly harder than before. Ianto continued stroking Jack's cock and used his other hand to push between Jack's arse cheeks and circle his entrance, gently breaching the opening and causing Jack's breath to hitch in expectation._

_With this minimal preparation Ianto began to push his cock into Jack. Jack grunted with the slight burn of pain caused by the intrusion. Ianto laid his head on Jack's shoulder and took a moment to contain the pleasure._

_Jack was breathing heavily and wriggled slightly against the pain. Ianto straightened and slapped Jack's flank._

'_Be still!' he demanded._

_Both men immediately stilled unsure which of them was more shocked by Ianto's demands and actions. Ianto leant forward over Jack's back and whispered in his ear._

'_I'm sorry'_

'_Don't be' Jack whispered back._

'_I hit you' said Ianto mortified at his own actions even though they had not really been intended to hurt._

'_Yeah' agreed Jack and turned his head to grin at Ianto._

_Ianto laughed and began to thrust into his lover._

'_You don't mind?' he asked picking up speed._

'_Wouldn't want it every day...but no...I don't mind...you like it?' gasped Jack beginning to lose control as Ianto's thrusting became erratic in the build up to orgasm._

_Ianto grinned at him._

'_Yeah I liked it' and he slapped him again._

_Both men gasped and as Jack thrust back onto Ianto's cock his lover's hips whipped ever faster bringing them both to the brink._

'_Oh God...fuck'_

_Ianto slapped him one more time and shot his sperm deep inside Jack as he watched his hand print appear on his lover's flank. Jack shot his load over the tiles laughing and gasping at the same time._

_Ianto held Jack against his chest as they both began to breathe more normally. Jack turned in his arms and kissed him forcefully. _

'_We are getting clean...making coffee...and then having a long conversation about how much of this we would like' he announced._

'_Absolutely' agreed Ianto smiling._

_TW_

Ianto stood breathing heavily his cock straining at his trousers. Oh my God he thought, I absolutely have to get home and have that conversation.

Now that he and Jack had begun an emotional as well as a physical relationship they had become more open about their desires and Ianto was thrilled that their sex life was obviously going to become increasingly adventurous. God knows what we will be doing in the years to come thought Ianto with trepidation and anticipation. I have to get home and find out.

When the mist swirled again he found himself back in the main hub.

TWTWTW

_Ianto took coffees to Gwen and Toshiko. He stepped over to the med lab and looked down on Owen hard at work on the latest autopsy. It still felt unnatural not to make food and drink for the doctor and Ianto felt a pull of guilt as he thought about all that the medic had lost. Physical pleasures were hugely significant to Owen and now he was condemned to live forever without them._

_Ianto took his own coffee up to Jack's office to enjoy a moment alone with his captain._

_TW_

Ianto puzzled over what he had just witnessed. Why did I not take a drink to Owen? Are we having yet another fight? But that would seem ridiculous. I would never be so childish as to omit refreshments to a member of the team no matter how irate they may have made me. I must remember not to do that when I get back, that type of pettiness is not becoming.

More importantly why is Owen not bitching about being left out? Surely he would take an opportunity like this to complain long and loudly. This makes no sense.

Before he could think anymore the scene was ripped away from him.

TWTWTW

Ianto found himself watching as his teammates reappeared. It felt good to keep seeing people he knew even if he couldn't interact with them. I hope I retain all this knowledge when I get back. Surely I will he thought. It would be fun to know some things in advance, but absolute hell knowing others he realised, his shoulders sagging under the weight of Toshiko and Gwen's deaths.

At least this looks like a happy time he thought.

Wait! Is Jack drunk? Jack never gets drunk. But Jack and himself were lounging on the hub sofa seemingly the worse for several drinks. Ianto's interest was piqued.

TW

_Ianto and Jack were curled up together on the sofa holding on to each other and giggling like schoolgirls. They were whispering in each other's ears and watching their teammates before dissolving into fits of giggles again._

'_For fuck's sake' exclaimed Owen throwing his hands up in despair 'how long before this wears off Tosh?'_

_Jack and Ianto had been sprayed by an alien device that they had both inadvertently handled whilst trying to retrieve and contain it. Jack had immediately deactivated the device and informed the team not to worry. He had told them that it was a toy from the thirty seventh century that produced drug like states of euphoria._

_The team had arrived back at the hub before the worst effects had manifested themselves but now the men were giggling uncontrollably and acting like silly children._

_It was seriously getting on Owen's nerves. Partially he was jealous at the very obviously pleasant effects the men were experiencing and partially he was just annoyed that someone else was having fun._

'_I don't know Owen' said Tosh answering his question 'but they're not harming anyone...and it's quite amusing watching Ianto being silly' she added affectionately looking at he normally reserved Welshman laying on Jack and holding his sides as he laughed._

_Jack leaned down and whispered in Ianto's ear. Both men looked over towards Owen and quickly looked away burying their faces in each other's shoulders as they laughed uncontrollably._

'_Wouldn't be so bad if they weren't laughing at me' snarled Owen._

'_They are not laughing at you' insisted Gwen 'the world does not revolve around Owen Harper'_

_The three teammates concentrated on completing paperwork whilst keeping a surreptitious eye on Jack and Ianto to ensure there were no ill effects._

_Gwen became aware that the sounds of the two men had changed and she looked over to check on them. They were scrabbling and each attempting to tickle the other. Ianto was pinning Jack to the sofa and pulling at his shirt and Jack had his hands under Ianto's clothes and was wriggling and trying to roll them over._

'_Oh God' despaired Owen._

_The girls giggled. Given the relationship between the two men it would not be long before tickles became something much more intimate._

'_I really think we should leave them to it...come back tomorrow when the effects have worn off' mused Toshiko as she watched the men begin to kiss._

_The kissing quickly became more passionate and Toshiko began to close her monitor in preparation for leaving._

'_Will they be safe Owen... if we leave?' asked Gwen concerned for her teammates health._

'_Should be...I'll scan them once more and if the readings are ok we'll leave them to it' replied Owen._

'_Do you need help?' asked Gwen anxiously._

_Jack and Ianto were becoming obviously aroused and both she and Toshiko were keen to leave before they witnessed anything further._

'_No...you two leave...scans will only take a couple of minutes...and at least if they get naked before I've finished then I've seen it all before' smiled Owen._

_Moans came from the direction of the sofa._

'_Ok then...bye' shouted Toshiko and grabbed her bag and left, swiftly followed by Gwen._

_Owen sighed to himself. He had no desire to watch the two men either but he took his responsibilities as a doctor seriously and was determined to scan them and ensure their safety before he made his own exit. _

_He picked up the scanner and made his way cautiously over to the sofa. Jack and Ianto remained oblivious to him and he set about using the alien device to check their vital signs._

_Jack was frantically pushing Ianto's trousers and underwear down, his own were already around his knees and Ianto was pushing his shirt up. Remarkably quickly the two men were naked from nipple to knee and looked vaguely ridiculous and extremely wanton rubbing their erections together despite being still partially clothed._

_Owen stopped watching his scanner and became engrossed by their actions. With clothes pushed up and others pushed down the picture they created was almost pornographic and their obvious desperation and desire for each other was affecting the medic as he tried to ignore his own arousal and concentrate on his job._

_A last look told him vital signs were fine. Each had a slightly raised heart and respiration rate but that was consistent with the activities in which they were currently engaged. Owen prepared to leave but found his attention once again gripped by the action on the sofa. This scene had great blackmail potential, maybe he should set the CCTV to record direct to his own monitor._

_Ianto was still pinning Jack down but now with less desperation and more care. They were kissing languidly and thrusting gently against each other. Ianto began kissing Jack's neck and Jack threw his head back to enjoy the ministrations of his lover. Ianto was whispering to Jack as he nuzzled his neck. Owen could not hear what was said but it was making Jack moan and plead whilst caressing the other man._

_Owen looked at them and felt his own arousal leave his body. He had rarely seen such a wanton and depraved scene and yet they were not fucking, they were loving each other. It had become intimate and something special that needed no observers._

_Owen quietly left them to it._

_TW_

Ianto felt something akin to shame ringing throughout his entire body. He had wanted to scream at himself and Jack that they were not alone and for fuck's sake stop it. He knew it to be pointless and resigned himself to watching as Owen got a show.

He had been surprised when Owen left, he had assumed he would stay to the end and never let them forget it.

He made a mental note to himself. Unless it is a medical emergency never undress in front of Owen!

TWTWTW

He was once more whipped away and when the mist cleared Ianto found himself staring directly into Jack's face, a very angry look resided there. He scanned the hub to see what Jack was focussing on. What was making him so cross? He saw himself talking to a co-worker. These were sadly not people he recognised and he realised once more that he was observing himself several years into the future. But that did not explain Jack's apparent anger. What is going on?

TW

_Ianto finished his conversation with Daryl and gave the young man his instructions. Daryl smiled at him and went to fulfil his orders, settling quickly at his monitor and beginning work. Jack strode across to Ianto and demanded coffee in a peremptory tone. Ianto looked at him in surprise but went immediately to complete the request._

_Jack joined him in the kitchen as he was setting out cups for everyone._

'_I asked for coffee Ianto' snarled Jack._

_Ianto looked at him puzzled._

'_And that is what I'm making Jack' he said._

'_No Ianto! __**I **__asked for coffee...you don't need to make it for everyone...just me' said Jack._

'_But why would I do that?' questioned Ianto 'everyone will want a drink so why not make them all at the same time...it makes sense Jack...which is more than you are doing' he added._

_Jack stormed off to his office and Ianto followed him ten minutes later when all the drinks were distributed. He took coffee for himself and the captain and entered without knocking. Placing the cups on the table he sat facing Jack._

'_Care to tell me what that was all about?' he asked a little annoyed._

_Jack sighed. He knew he was being unfair but his territory was being invaded and it was causing his hackles to rise._

'_Daryl is flirting with you... again!' he snapped._

'_And?' urged Ianto._

'_And I don't like it' said Jack ._

_Ianto could barely suppress a smile._

'_You flirt all the time Jack...I never complain..and I cannot be held responsible for someone else's actions' he said reasonably._

'_I know...I'm not mad with you' sighed Jack._

'_You know why he does it?' said Ianto._

'_Because he fancies you obviously...he wants to get into your trousers' sneered Jack._

'_No...because he is challenging you' explained Ianto._

'_How do you make that out?' asked Jack clearly puzzled._

'_You're the leader...he can't outrank you...he can't out think you...he's looking for a way to out play you...he thinks I'm it' shrugged Ianto._

'_Oh my God!' said Jack._

'_Yeah' sighed Ianto._

'_So what do I do?' asked Jack._

_Ianto shrugged._

'_Stake your claim' he said and wandered back into the main hub wondering just how Jack would go about that._

_Daryl immediately occupied the space beside Ianto and monopolised his conversation, looking up to Jack's office as he did so. Jack took a deep breath, this was going to end now._

_He joined the team on the main floor and strode over to Daryl and Ianto._

'_Ianto...go to my office...close the shutters...I'll be there in a moment' he demanded._

_Ianto looked at him shocked. They often had sex at work but it was never announced to the team in such a relatively open way. He stood still and waited for verification. Jack could have been asking for his help with anything but the sexual inference was obvious._

'_You can't be serious' sneered Daryl 'I know you two guys are at it...but Ianto's not going to take orders like that'_

_Ianto looked from one to the other, good grief Jack is unsubtle at times ran through his head. This was not what Ianto had in mind when he told Jack to stake a claim, but if he denied him now the situation would spiral out of control._

'_I think I can Daryl' said Jack calmly._

'_He's not a lap dog Jack' objected Daryl._

'_No...he is an intelligent and strong minded man..he does nothing he does not choose to do...his submission is a heady and joyful experience' said Jack quietly._

_Ianto made his decision and turned for the office._

'_Ianto!' objected Daryl but Ianto did not turn and did not slow his ascent._

_The team watched as Ianto entered the office and slowly removed his tie, he unbuttoned his shirt and moved to close the shutters as he looked down at Daryl._

_Jack had not turned to see if Ianto had obeyed his orders, he watched Daryl the whole time._

'_I am in charge here Daryl...what I say goes...the most intelligent man in the hub knows that and accepts it...if you can't, then the option is to leave...no recriminations...no Retcon'_

_Jack turned on his heel and went to his office, not waiting to see which option Daryl took, he had a disgruntled Welshman to placate and reward._

_TW_

Ianto gaped as he watched the scene. It felt weird to think that a man other than Jack would flirt with him, but he supposed if people knew they were together then it was always likely that other gay men would think the action acceptable.

But then Daryl obviously had reasons beyond thinking Ianto attractive. He sighed. Ianto knew himself to be acceptable in the looks department but being in a relationship with Jack left him continuously in second place. Who would look at him when they could look at Jack?

He had to admire his other self for the way in which he had handled the situation. Calmly and with dignity, allowing Jack to fulfil his role. He just hoped he was giving him hell in the privacy of Jack's office.

What more would he see? The mist swirled about him yet again but this time it was not the hub that reappeared.

How is that possible? I thought I could not leave this place.

Wait!

The Tardis!


	10. Chapter 10

The whole team stopped and looked around as they heard the strange sound. Three guns were whipped out and defensive stances taken. Jack rushed out of his office.

'Stand down' he shouted.

Gwen, Toshiko and Owen reluctantly relaxed their stance as they noticed the demeanour of their leader. Jack's whole being radiated excitement and hope. He raced to the main hub floor to greet the Doctor.

The Doctor popped his head around the Tardis door grinning and nodding politely at the three people he did not yet know.

'Jack...come on...I think I've got him' he shouted.

Before any of the team could raise a protest Jack was inside the Tardis and the machine was already disappearing.

'Bloody marvellous' observed Owen 'now we have two team members missing'

'He said he had found Ianto...maybe he has...they'll be back' said Toshiko.

'They'd better be' snarled Gwen 'we managed for a while without Jack but I'm not interested in trying to manage without Ianto's coffee for much longer'

The others gave a weak smile and set about watching Toshiko as she tried to locate and follow the Tardis on her monitors.

TWTWTW

The Doctor was as usual speeding around the console of the Tardis like a madman, flicking switches and turning dials. Jack was beginning to think he did it just for show. The travel devices used by the time agency had not been nearly as complicated. But then neither had they been accurate or entirely safe.

Jack's attention was suddenly caught by the figure of Ianto materialising in the middle of the Tardis. His image was fading in and out as the Doctor tried to get a fix on him and Jack held his breath.

'Come on Doc...get him' he breathed.

'I'm trying Jack...make yourself useful and hold this lever' insisted the Doctor.

Jack did as he was asked despite his reservations that the Doctor was only giving him something to do to stop him asking annoying questions, now was not the time to aggravate the only person who might be able to save his lover.

Ianto's image became clearer and eventually stabilised.

'Doc!...can I let go of this lever?' asked Jack desperately.

'Oh yes' said the Doctor 'it would seem we have our errant traveller back with us' he continued and watched with mild concern as Ianto collapsed in Jack's arms.

'What's wrong with him?' gasped Jack.

'Oh...just a little time vertigo...he'll be ok' assured the Doctor.

'Really?' asked Jack.

'Yes...oh I think so...yes...I'll feel sure that's all it is' mumbled the Doctor.

Jack glared at him whilst cradling Ianto but immediately forgot to be angry when Ianto opened his eyes.

'Jack?' he asked.

'Yeah...it's me...you're ok...you're back.

'Oh good' said Ianto.

Jack laughed.

'Well that has to be the understatement of the year' he announced.

The Doctor wandered over to the two men.

'Nice to meet you properly Mr Jones' he said.

'You saved me....thank you' said Ianto gratefully.

'No problem...it was easier than listening to Jack whine for centuries....which he would have done' smiled the Doctor.

Jack glared at him but shrugged in acknowledgement that the Doctor was probably right.

'Where are we?...where is everyone else?..why aren't we in the hub anymore?' asked Ianto suddenly panicking at the unfamiliar surroundings.

'We're inside the Tardis' announced the Doctor 'she materialised around you to pull you out of the time whirl thingy'

'Oh' said Ianto relieved that they were not thousands of miles away or on a parallel world.

Jack looked at his lover slightly puzzled.

'Ianto...I know you've seen pictures of the Tardis...but you've never been in it...'

Ianto looked up at him in question.

'Well aren't you going to exclaim about it being bigger on the inside?' asked Jack.

Ianto just stared at him.

'Well of course it's bigger on the inside Jack...the Doctor would hardly travel over time and space in a six foot box with who knows how many companions' he said in exasperation.

'I'm also bright enough to know it's not actually made of wood' he finished rolling his eyes at the other man.

'Ooohh I like you Ianto Jones' laughed the Doctor 'perceptive, intelligent, unflappable and looks good in a suit...yes I like you a lot'

'Hmmm..that could be considered harassment sir' smiled Ianto lazily.

'Oi!' shouted Jack 'that is my perceptive and good looking Welshman you are flirting with Doctor...just because you saved him...don't go getting any ideas' he continued jealously.

'Staking a claim Jack?' asked the Doctor raising an eyebrow at the irate captain 'you might find it easier to convince Ianto, than all the people who are ever going to find him attractive'

Ianto smiled as he remembered talking to Jack over his own dead body. He recalled what that Jack had told him to say.

'The Doctor's right Jack...stop being a prat and just say it' smiled Ianto.

Jack looked at the both of them in exasperation. He recognised the truth of what they were saying. It would be easier to convince Ianto of the importance of their relationship, give him a reason to invest in it and have him remain faithful, rather than try to fend off every new person who found him attractive. He gave in to his feelings.

'I love you Ianto Jones...please don't leave again' he whispered.

Ianto grinned at him.

'I love you too Jack...I'll have to leave you eventually but I promise never of my own volition'

The two men kissed. Ianto broke away from Jack and looked at the other two curiously.

'Where is that singing coming from?' he asked.

The Doctor smiled but Jack just looked puzzled.

'What singing?' he asked.

'A Welsh lullaby...can't you hear it Jack?'

'No...Doctor?' asked Jack still puzzled.

'It's the Tardis' announced the Doctor 'she's singing to Ianto'

'In Welsh?' said Ianto surprised.

'No' answered Jack 'the Tardis translates languages for you'

'Actually' announced the Doctor 'she is singing in Welsh...it would appear the Tardis likes your Mr Jones as much as I do...she's trying to make him feel at home'

'She's never done anything like that for me' snarled Jack 'in fact she tried to lose me...shake me off'

'Weelll...' said the Doctor 'as much as you bother her...it would seem Ianto calms her...'

'Oh wonderful...now I'm vying for his affection with a bloody machine' sniped Jack.

'Oi! The Tardis is not a machine' Ianto and the Doctor said in unison and Jack threw up his hands in disgust.

'Bloody hell' he sniped.

The other two laughed and eventually Jack managed to raise a grin.

'If it makes you feel any better the Tardis likes you better because of him' announced the Doctor looking at Jack and gesturing towards Ianto.

Ianto grinned at the mixed look of pleasure and annoyance on Jack's face. Jack gave up worrying about it.

'Are we back at the hub yet?...the rest of the team are going to want to see Ianto' said Jack.

Ianto felt a spike of fear go through him in remembrance of some of the things he had seen whilst away.

'Jack?' he whispered softly 'are they all ok?...are they still there?...Owen and Tosh and Gwen?' he asked.

'Of course they are still there...you've only been gone a couple of days Ianto...we've missed you...been working on nothing but getting you back...even Owen was upset' said Jack gently as he saw the fear in Ianto's eyes.

Jack grimaced as he realised that Ianto had probably seen times when Gwen, Toshiko and Owen were no longer with them. Or worse still, witnessed them dying. He could only concentrate on convincing him that at this moment in time everything was exactly as he had left it.

Ianto looked across at the Doctor warily. He wanted to share what he had seen, share the fear and the sense of loss and grief but he knew he couldn't. The Doctor looked at him with sorrow and understanding but put his finger to his lips in the universal 'shh' gesture and Ianto nodded his understanding.

He felt in his pocket and found the ring the future Jack had given him, realising he needed to get it hidden quickly but he wanted to talk to the Doctor first.

'The things I saw...will they definitely come true...some of them..well ..could I prevent them from happening?' he asked desperately.

'No...I'm sorry...you can't stop the future...maybe not everything will happen exactly as you saw it...time is always in flux...but mostly it will follow the pattern you witnessed...don't try to alter it Ianto.. it will almost certainly end in disaster' the Doctor told him sadly.

Ianto hung his head, thinking about how difficult it would be to lose his friends and swallowing hard.

'But I know you saw some good things Ianto' continued the Doctor 'the future holds much joy for you as well as some sadness...try to enjoy now...let time take care of the future and hold your friends close...never regret'

Ianto nodded his head and tried to concentrate on the good in store for him. He looked into Jack's eyes and thought of all the time they would have together.

'Jack' he whispered.

Jack just looked at him with eyebrows raised in question.

'When I was at university I wore women's underwear for almost a year' said Ianto.

Jack spluttered...felt a surge of arousal...grinned...and then asked puzzled.

'Why?...and why tell me now with all this going on?'

Ianto laughed at Jack's reaction.

'Because before I left you wanted me to tell you something about me that you didn't know...and I was pretty sure you didn't know this' explained Ianto.

Jack laughed again remembering the conversation they had before Ianto was taken by the time whirl.

'But Ianto...what on earth made you wear women's underwear?' he asked.

'Well...' started Ianto 'it began when a girlfriend asked me to...but I found I liked it...still wore them even after we split...even went shopping for new stuff at one stage' smiled Ianto mildly embarrassed by the confession.

'Ianto Jones you kinky bastard' smiled Jack 'do you still have some?'

'Yes' admitted Ianto blushing.

'You have to wear it...under your suits' insisted Jack.

He leaned his head to one side and considered.

'But perhaps only one day a week...I'll never get any work done otherwise' he grinned.

Ianto smiled at him. They had needed something this silly to break the tension of returning to the hub.

'Come on' Jack said 'let's go see the rest of the team' and he held out his hand.

He suddenly stopped and looked at Ianto.

'Ianto...the girls are going to want to hug you' he warned.

Jack knew Ianto was not keen on physical contact with others, even those he considered his friends. He did not hug and kiss indiscriminately like many of his contemporaries. But Ianto smiled at him.

'I think I can cope for once' he said.

'Even with Owen?' questioned Jack.

'I very much doubt Owen will want to hug me Jack' Ianto almost laughed at the thought.

Jack considered.

'Perhaps not...but he will want to do lots of tests on you...to give him an excuse to fuss' he smiled, 'let him Ianto...he's been as worried as the girls...but you know he won't show it unless he can cover it up as medical necessities' he continued.

Ianto swallowed as he remembered some of the things he had learnt about Owen whilst he had been away and he nodded his compliance with Jack's request. With hands linked they stepped out of the Tardis followed by the Doctor.

'Ianto!' squealed Gwen the moment he appeared.

She launched herself at him hugging and kissing until, despite his assurances to Jack, Ianto became uncomfortable at her proximity. Toshiko pulled him away from the other woman and after a single hug she whispered to him.

'I missed you'

Ianto kissed her on the cheek pleased to have been rescued from Gwen's more determined physicality.

Then Ianto faced Owen. The two men looked at each other not moving and saying nothing. Owen nodded at him and Ianto gave a half smile in return.

'Welcome home Ianto' said Owen quietly.

Ianto stunned his whole team by walking over to Owen and pulling him into a brief but fierce hug.

'Thank you Owen' he said.

Ianto was not sure if he was thanking him for what he said now or what he had witnessed him saying whilst he was away.

Jack looked around at his team. Gwen was crying quietly still watching Ianto. Toshiko was talking to the Doctor and asking his advice about something she was showing him on her monitor and Owen was already trying to cajole Ianto into going to the med lab for tests.

He sat on a chair and felt the relief wash through him.

TWTWTW

Sometime later the team were getting ready to leave the hub for a celebratory drink. Owen was talking to the Doctor for the first time. The Doctor was looking over some of the files Owen had created on alien autopsies and much to Owen's chagrin was correcting some of them.

'Why him?' asked Owen.

The Doctor looked up at him perplexed.

'What?' he asked.

'Why him?...these time whirls must happen all over the place...you can't save everyone so why him?' he insisted.

The Doctor considered. Owen was right, time whirls were a constant occurrence. Sometimes people spontaneously reverted to their own time and barely realised they had been gone, putting the time lapse down to being tired and losing concentration. Sometimes people disappeared without trace and were never seen again.

The Doctor had unspoken reasons for finding Ianto. The Tardis had alerted him and fretted until the search had begun. They were reasons he could not safely share with anybody even Ianto himself.

'The universe thought him important' he eventually admitted.

'Ianto?...I mean he's great...but he's ordinary..isn't he?' said Owen puzzled.

The Doctor smiled at him.

'Yes he's ordinary and sometimes the universe needs ordinary people...I once knew a maid servant who saved the world...sometimes the most important people are very ordinary...they might be archivists' he mused 'or doctors' he added looking at Owen significantly.

Owen drew in a sharp breath. Was the Doctor trying to tell him something about his own future? Was he going to be important?

Owen had no time to ponder this further as Ianto called down to them that the team were ready to leave.

TWTWTW

At the pub Gwen, Toshiko and Owen were already relaxing under the influence of several drinks, even the Doctor had been persuaded the world would not end if he took an alcoholic beverage. Jack and Ianto were both sober, too high on the joy of being back together to need any other stimulation.

Ianto went to the bar to place another order and the Doctor accompanied him. Ianto took the opportunity to talk to him privately.

'This is awkward for me' announced Ianto.

'Buying drinks?' asked the Doctor puzzled.

'No!' laughed Ianto.

He turned to look fully at the man beside him.

'I've been jealous of you for so long...and now I have to be grateful to you for saving me' he said.

'You don't have to be grateful Ianto...the universe needs you...and Jack needs you...you were worth saving' said the Doctor.

Ianto looked at him puzzled but decided to let it go.

'Jack was in love with you for a long time' he said.

'No' insisted the Doctor.

Ianto raised his eyebrows at him.

'That wasn't love Ianto...hero worship maybe...but he didn't know me well enough to love me'

The Doctor took a deep breath.

'When he found me again I had to admit that I left him behind on purpose...I'm a Timelord and he is a fixed point in time...I can't cope with that and I left him...once he knew that, the hero worship died a little' the Doctor shrugged.

Ianto gaped at him. This man had left Jack behind on purpose? He had condemned him to live forever and then just left him? Ianto was outraged.

The Doctor smiled sadly at him.

'That right there Ianto...that reaction...that is why Jack loves you...you would not have left him...he knows that...he wanted me desperately for a while...he wants you forever'

The Doctor and Ianto searched each other's faces for a while, neither sure what to say now. Jack joined them at the bar.

'Drinks are taking a long time' he said looking at them warily, wondering at their apparently intense conversation.

The Doctor and Ianto exchanged glances. Jack looked between them both.

'Doctor' he said 'thank you for all your help...but I need to take my favourite Welshman home now...need to welcome him home properly' he grinned lasciviously.

'Of course' smiled the Doctor 'I will stay and spend some more time with your team...I won't leave without saying goodbye' he promised.

Jack nodded, accepting the unspoken apology for leaving him the last time.

'Come on' said Jack 'I have an underwear drawer to ransack for hidden secrets'

He took Ianto's hand and the two quietly left the pub for their own celebration at home, Ianto's heart lifting as they left the Doctor behind.

Jack had chosen to go home with him.


End file.
